Friday, April 07, 2006

Murder on the Orion Express, Murder Most Foul

"OK everybody, gather around," I called out so the passengers.

Frondal Niptu, the Von Ryans, Jeeves, and Gollux all huddled close to each other. I stood in front of them with Jan the Intergalactic Aviator by my side.

"Do you know who the murderer is?" asked Frondal.

"Then do tell!" said the Von Ryan father. His children all leaned in closer.

"First, let me go over my findings," I said. "Starting with Frondal. Frondal Niptu is a businessman on his way to Orion for a very important deal that could make or break his career."

"That's right," he smiled smuggly. "I would never kill a man like that! I am too important."

"Also, this is Jeeves Jarvis Pennyworth," I indicated to the butler. "Up until the murder, he was Lucky Pierre's butler and road manager."

"Dreadful business, really," Jeeves sniffed.

"Pierre treated him poorly," I continued. "But poorly enough for murder? Unfortunately, there is a motive here."

"I would never!" Jeeves gasped with his hand on his chest.

"Moving along," I said. We have the singing Von Ryan family. The Von Ryan's hummed and shook their hands. "They are indeed scheduled to perform at the Orion by Orionwest Music Festival, though I can't see them entertaining many people."

"There are a lot of acts booked," a Von Ryan said gleefully. The others around him backed him up with "Yeahs!" and "You bets!"

"Also with us here today is Gollux of Gollus," I swept my hand to the alien. "Golluns are a race who, as a whole, generally keep to themselves. I couldn't see Gollux having any motive to do something like this."

"That's right, Earthman," Gollux said. "Thank you."

"And there is, of course, Jan and myself," I said. "Jan has been kind enough to help me in the cockpit as well as research the passenger's manifest. Very interesting how you found that information, isn't it?"

"It was all on the InterN.E.T," Jan replied cooly.

"Right," I said. "I do however know that there is a person here who had both motive and opportunity."

Everyone looked at me, eagerly anticipating my declaration.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the murderer is---"

Who is the murderer?
Frondal Niptu
Jeeves Jarvis Pennyworth
the singing Von Ryan family
Gollux of Gollus
Jan the Intergalactic Aviator
Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator
Free polls from


Wedge Antillies said...

Oh man! Now I need to go back and re-read all this plot line!?!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Don't worry, it's not really worth it...

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

well, had to vote for that awful singing group, they were probably afraid he'd totally show them up at the show, what with his preformance art.

Though I have my suspicions about Jan...

flu said...

*note to self... next time print out the choices and throw choice-making dart at the printout*

JawaJuice said...

Ooo I can hardly wait!
It’s like an Encyclopedia Brown book…only with more blood and decapitation.

Gyrobo said...

It was the singing family! It's always the singing family!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Alright, who said that I was the murderer in the poll? I'll kill you! I'll kill you all!

Er, I mean, I am certainly not the guilty party.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

It was the butler, or the awful singing people, or the ruthless businessman, or the weird alien guy/thing, or someone else (i suspect someone green and little)

Gyrobo said...

Delicious new random slogans! My array will exceed 2,000 by the end of this month, by Yimminy!

Maybe it was the alien who never bothers anyone. That would- no! It's none of the above!

The real culprit is-


Professor Xavier said...

Heh, heh, heh.

Son Goku said...

I say um uh hmmmm Gary Coleman did it! He's evil I tell you ! Evil!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Why do we have to vote? Can't you tell us?

Professor Xavier said...

If he just told us the answer, how would we ever learn anything?

We have a saying on my planet-"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for his life."

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

PROF X: Teach a man to fish and he'll have another excuse to drink on the weekend :)