Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Those darn kids these days

I tell you, I can't stand these damn punk kids these days.

Take the noisy punk kids in my neighborhood, for example. All the time, I hear them outside yelling and running around all crazy. It's enough to give a man like me the fits.

There I was, just minding my own business and watching the Showcase Showdown. Sometimes, it seems that only Bob Barker understands me. So there I was, watching my show when I hear those kids outside again. They were riding up and down the street on their bikes and turning around in my yard.

So I got off the davenport, went out on my front porch, and shook my fist at them.

"Damn you, you little brat kids!" I yelled. "Stay off'n my lawn, I'm trying to watch my stories!"

The kids just laughed and rode up and down the street past me.

So I had an idea.

I went back inside and when I heard them again, I went out the back door and got the garden hose. When those rotten loudmouths rode past again, I turned the hose on 'em, but good.

"Take that, you little snot-nosed punks!" I yelled.

They stopped laughing at that, but then I had to go in and take my ulcer medication.

12 comments:

Gyrobo said...

There! I have written up the perfect fix for your code.

Next time, use two garden hoses; it's the only way you can maintain the image of personability.

Professor Xavier said...

And then one day Jon became a grumpy old man. Lo, there was much rejoicing on that day. The children danced and the women sang. The ancient prophicies were fulfilled.

Wedge Antillies said...

Dude, I hope what you have isn't contageous! And if you really become a grumpy old man like that, I hope you die young (and leave a good-looking corpse).

Karnov said...

If they were the Three Musketeers, why didn't any of them shoot a musket?

Gyrobo said...

The arrays are starting to fully merge...

Chaos will ensue! Chaos!

Sweet.

Just as I predicted in my "Arrayus Randomus" Hypothesis.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I think Jon own time/space thingy is out of wack or something. But I have the same problem, but with Rebels.

"Dang Rebels, get off my frozen useless planet, your making tracks everywhere and leaving your boots on the gorund!!!"

Vampirella said...

I think BBN finally caused him to go crackers

Gyrobo said...

That last one in your array, #88, I believe is a destructobob original.

That is ironic in ways I cannot imagine.

JawaJuice said...

Okay that’s just scary! Something is defiantly wrong with you. I’ve never been more afraid in my life!
Bob Barker understands you?!?!

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Bob Barker is versed many languages, including old codger, but my intern likes him b/c he's given a lot to prevent pet over population.'

And Jon, put down the prune juice and pick up a Mt.Dew

Lori said...

Hmmm....I would be worried what these punk kids might be planning as revenge!!!!.....they can run faster than a grumpy old man...LOL

Have a great day!!!

Vegeta said...

What was in those chocolate eggs? ( throws away left over Easter candy.)