Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Uh oh

My name is Jonathan Edward Jones, 'cept my last name really isn't Jones and I don't like the name Edward, so I like people to call me Jonny E. and that's all.

I was just standing there in the dining room and my head felt kind of tingly. I looked at my arms and they looked so long. I looked at my legs and they were so long, too. I then felt my face and it was all itchy, so I looked in the mirror and saw that I had whiskers! I looked all growed up!

I looked all growed up, but I didn't feel all growed up.

On my arm was some kind of thingy. It had stuff all over it, like a sharp point and a bunch of buttons. I didn't know what it was for, though, so I started pushing buttons.

That's when a little accident happened.

Something flew out of the thing and stuck into the couch in the living room. It had a long wire string on it and I thought uh oh right then and there.

If someone sees that I poked a hole in the couch I might get in lots of trouble, so I went up to look at the hole and I thought that maybe I could move the cushions so no one could see the hole and so I moved the cushion and guess what I saw! Three Cheetos and a cherry Lifesaver, that's what!

They were delicious.

The couch didn't look good with the cushion pushed up like that, so I put them back and moved a pillow in front of it so then you-know-who couldn't see it, but then I remembered that you shouldn't lie because then you get into bigger trouble. I saw that on Sesame Street.

I saw it on NYPD Blue, too.

So I guess that I'm gonna have to tell the truth, I hope that I don't get into trouble. I sniffed a little, 'cuz I don't wanna get in trouble, but my eyes didn't get wet or anything. I hope that I don't get in lots of trouble, 'cuz today we're having pasketi and meatballs and I really like pasketi and meatballs.

I was standing there sniffing and looking at the wire string going from my arm to the couch and I was really, really worried but then my head started getting all tingly again.

I shook my head clear and I looked at my Wristcomm. Somehow, I fired the harpoon into the couch and the cable was still running from the hole to my wrist.

How did that happen?

10 comments:

Master Yoda said...

Yes, confess to this only after the pasketi and meatballs you get to eat, you should.

Professor Xavier said...

Sounds like you fried your brain with all that Easter candy. I'm afraid this is going to require an intense remedy - a none stop The View marathon. Fortunately Gambit has the entire first two years on DVD. After 72 hours or so your brain will go into lockdown and do a re-boot. That should cure this problem, as well as your strange tendency to pass up offers of free sex with beautiful galactic queens.

Pantha said...

uh oh Easter when I was a boy flashbacks

Wedge Antillies said...

Hey, little boy, I'll give you this lollypop for your little wrist toy there.

Private Hudson said...

Aw jeez, Jon, yer acting like a kid. No wonder you totally crashed your ship into Professor Xavier's pool.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I did not, you liar!

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Dude, you are totally going to get busted for that hole in the couch. especially if opens up a hole in the time/space continuum and have to have Captain Picard help out.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

We all have these fancy wrist gadgets.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Aw jeez, not another hole in the space/time continuum. Picard's always getting himself stuck in those things.

Gyrobo said...

There's a problem with your random slogan array.

Where it says

descriptions[Math.floor(Math.random()*(descriptions.length))];

It should be (descriptions.length-1)

By not including that -1 at the end, you run the risk of a user getting "undefined" as their random blurb.

I know because that just happened to me.

As recompence for my dilligence, I remit myself your new random blurbs.