Those darn kids these days

I tell you, I can't stand these damn punk kids these days.

Take the noisy punk kids in my neighborhood, for example. All the time, I hear them outside yelling and running around all crazy. It's enough to give a man like me the fits.

There I was, just minding my own business and watching the Showcase Showdown. Sometimes, it seems that only Bob Barker understands me. So there I was, watching my show when I hear those kids outside again. They were riding up and down the street on their bikes and turning around in my yard.

So I got off the davenport, went out on my front porch, and shook my fist at them.

"Damn you, you little brat kids!" I yelled. "Stay off'n my lawn, I'm trying to watch my stories!"

The kids just laughed and rode up and down the street past me.

So I had an idea.

I went back inside and when I heard them again, I went out the back door and got the garden hose. When those rotten loudmouths rode past again, I turned the hose on 'em, but good.

"Take that, you little snot-nosed punks!" I yelled.

They stopped laughing at that, but then I had to go in and take my ulcer medication.