Lounging at the Hero Lounge

[Crowd murmuring, applause]
Good evening everybody, thank you thank you. I am Johnny Paladin and I'll be your entertainment for this evening. Did everyone see how big that bouncer is? I think he could beat Lou Ferrigno in an arm wrestling contest.

[Mild laughter]

Spider-Man, Spider-Man*
Does whatever a spider can
Can he swing from a thread?
Take a look overhead

Look out here comes the Spider-Man, Spider-Man forever

Spider-Man, Spider-Man now and forever

[Applause]
Thank you, thank you very much. Say, what's your name?

Cyclops: I'm Cyclops, leader of the X-Men.

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,**
I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm.
I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right, it's O.K.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
The New York Times' effect on man.
Whether you're a brother
Or whether you're a mother,
I'm Cyclops, Cyclops.
Feel the city breakin'
And ev'rybody shakin'
And we're Cyclops, Cyclops.
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
Stayin' alive.

[Mild applause]

Cyclops: That was awesome!

Thank you, thank you very much. Hey, are there many mutants here tonight?

[Applause]

Please don't take my wallet.

[Laughter]

I'm kidding! Hey, it's Superman himself! Ladies and gentlemen, the Man of Steel.

[Applause, Superman sheepishly waves to the crowd]

What brings you here?

Superman: I don't get many days off, but when I get the chance, I like to come here to relax with some of my, er super friends.

If I go crazy then will you still ***
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak
But your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
Never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
Not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my
Superhuman might
Kryptonite

[Applause]

Superman: Thank you, er, that was nice. No more songs about Kryptonite, OK?

You got it, big guy. Hey, look who's here. Howya doin' tonight, Vegeta?

Vegeta: You know, relaxing, taking a break from smashing things.

Has he lost his mind? ****
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all,
Or if he moves will he fall?
Is he alive or dead?
Has he thoughts within his head?
Well just pass him there
Why should we even care?

Now the time is here
For Vegeta to spread fear
Vengeance from the grave
Kills the people he once saved

Heavy boots of lead
Fills his victims full of dread
Running as fast as they can
Vegeta lives again!

[Applause]

Vegeta: Sweet.

Thank you, thank you very much. Let's see who else is here tonight. Say, look over here, It looks like, oh oh...

The Tick: I am the Tick, I am mighty!

Oh boy.

Da dwee dah dah dah dwee dow *****
da dweeee dah dah dah dwee dow
Dwee dah do-doo dah dwee dah d0-doo dah
Da dwee dah dah dah dwee dow
Doot doot dah dah dat doot doot dah dah dah!

[Applause]

Thank you, thank you very much.

The Tick: That was keen! Do another!

Uh...

The Tick: Come on, singer! Sing for all you are worth!

OK.

Nana nana nana nana ******
Nana nana nana nana
The Tick!

Nana nana nana nana
Nana nana nana nana
The Tick!

The Tick! The Tick! The Tick!

Nana nana nana nana na
The Tick!

The Tick: Once again you have floored me with a great song, citizen. Sing another!

Looks like that's all the time we have for tonight. Thank you, you've been a great crowd!

[Applause]

The Tick: Hey!

* To the tune of Edelweiss
** To the tune of Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees
*** Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down
**** To the tune of Iron Man by Black Sabbath
***** Theme to The Tick
****** To the tune of Batman