Thursday, August 31, 2006

Mojo the Monkeyboy flew through the air then tumbled rear-end over teakettle, finally crashing with a thud into the leviathan's control console

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There was a long moment of silence.

Then another.

“Hng[---------]!” An odd noise reverberated throughout Sargon. “Mu [-----------]!”

“What was that?” I asked.

“I am not sure…” Professor Xavier answered.

“Hua [------------] [----]!”

“She’s not mad about Mojo here, is she? She’s not going to do something that we’re all going to regret?”

“I don’t think she’s upset about your monkeyboy’s antics,” Professor X replied. “In fact, I think that she was... amused by it.”

“Wait, what do you mean my monkeyboy?”

“Ha [-----] ha ha [[-------]]! That was truly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!” roared the ship gleefully. “And I’ve seen Vogon passion plays.”

“She liked me?” Mojo sat up and his eyelashes fluttered. “She really liked me?”

“Yeah, we’re all astounded by this development,” I muttered. “We’re amazed. Astounded…”

“If you liked that, then get a load of this!” Mojo ecstatically jumped several feet into the air, spun around half a dozen times accompanied by a cartoonish whirring noise. He then fell flat on his back with a splat.

“Ha! Ha! Ha!” laughter echoed through the chamber. “That was too much!”

“She liked that?” I was truly amazed.

“Hold on Jon,” Xavier held up his hand. “I have an idea.”

Mojo stood up and produced three brightly-colored balls from somewhere. He then started to juggle them while hopping up and down on one foot. “How about this, Sargy gal?”

“Oh my, that is very impressive!” cooed the ship. She then laughed some more as the monkeyboy caught all three balls and swallowed them with a gulp.

“Mmmmmmm, ballicious!”

The leviathan laughed even more.

“You have a plan,” I said to my telepathic friend. “What is it?”

“OK OK OK OK OK! Check this out!” Mojo blew into his thumb and his hand inflated like a balloon. He then swung it around and around until he clocked himself with it in right in the jaw.

“Heh heh… eh, that was OK, I guess,” Sargon answered.

“Wait wait wait! I’m not done yet!” Mojo began jumping up and down on his own hand. Doing acrobatic flips and spins in the air.

“Oh ha ha! That is splendid!” the living ship cheerfully said.

“Your plan, Chuck?”

“Sargon, you say that you are lonely, that you need companionship or else you will die,” Professor Xavier announced to the ship.

“Heh heh, yes this is true,” the ship replied. “Though we are a space-faring species, we need companionship. Heh heh.”

“I have a proposal then,” he continued. “You need a companion, we need to get back to our home planet, and Jon’s monkeyboy here needs to be a sidekick for somebody.”

“Why are you saying that Mojo is my monkeyboy?”

“Quiet,” he admonished. “Sargon, I propose that you take on Mojo as your companion. You can then allow us to leave. We promise that we would visit you again, of course.”
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Mojo was cart wheeling around the deck of the ship. He cart wheeled out of sight and we heard a crashing noise, as if he collided with mops and buckets. Why would there be mops and buckets on Sargon?

“Ha ha ha ha ha! Of course, I would love to have Mojo travel with me!” the leviathan resonated happiness.

I ran up to the monkeyboy. “How would you like this, huh Mojo? Would you want to be Sargon’s sidekick?”

“Would I? Would I? HARE LIP!” Mojo cackled. He then jumped up, sprinted over to the control station and gave it a big monkeyboy hug. “You my bestest fwend foh evah and evah and evah!”

“Ha ha! You are my bestest friend as well, Mojo,” she answered.

“Nice,” I muttered.

“Well, with this pleasant business taken care of, I must insist that we take our leave,” the Professor said. “Again, I promise that we will see you once more.”

“Of that, I am sure,” she answered. You may leave and… thank you. Say Mojo, would you like to go to the Esteres Belt and shoot some asteroids?”

“Shoot asteroids, oh boy! That sounds swellerifictasticexceptionalfunfunfunified!”

“Ha ha ha, oh Mojo, you are too much!”
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There was a brilliant flash of light and we found ourselves inside the Danger Sled floating in space. We looked out the window and saw as energy surrounded the great living ship. A warp in space opened up and she stretched through it. With a crash of power that shook my ship, the space fold closed.
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“I guess that’s it, huh?” I said to the Professor. “Let’s get back to Earth.”

“That’s right, I can sense the urgency back there. The situation with Gaia is even graver than I thought.” he answered. “Oh and Jon…”


Professor Xavier pointed out towards the emptiness of space. “Engage!”


Professor Xavier said...

Make it so, Number One!

flu said...

Maybe if you'll also give her a few Jerry Lewis tapes, she'll never return with Mojo.

flu said...

btw, Jon... it was nice of you to give up your vewy own monkeyboy like that.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Thank Goodness! I thought you were going to have Sargon Spank Mojo and then make a monkey spanking joke. Let me be the first to say that monkey spaking joke are not funny. No matter how many time you say 'Spank that Monkey" it is not funny. So thank you fo rnot making any Monkey Spanking jokes.

Vegeta said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vegeta said...

Pefrfect your free and rid of the annoying monkeyboy

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Fluke, that was not my monkeyboy.

Professor Xavier said...

Well, not anymore, at least. Hopefully he won't talk Sargon into coming to visit you.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like alot of monkey bidness ta me !

Gyrobo said...

A monkeyboy in a position to influence a warship.

Nope, no foreseeable problems with that. Could never result in the catastrophic destruction of the Earth, no sir.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I hope that doesn't happen, Earth is where I keep all of my stuff!

J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...

Oh, goody, he's gone. I hope he doesn't come back as a ghost after Sargon kills after his act gets old. And it WILL get old...

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