Friday, February 03, 2006

Bringing the Team Together

My team and I had our own ISOFAC and training grounds. I quickly assembled my new crew and had them lined up standing at attention. Cpls Klinger and Oddball, S1C Camisa-Roja, Privates Levy and Maggot and Officer Huxley stood rigid as I walked up and down the line; hands clasped tightly behind my back.

"Get a good look at your new buddies!" They started to glance at each other. "Do not move! You are at attention!"

My team snapped back at attention.

"We are going to work hard and we are going to train hard and we are going to play hard, but not right now because we've got a lot of hard work and training to do. I am tough but fair, I will drill each and everyone of you with equal hardness!" I stopped in front of Huxley. "Some more so than others. Do you hear me?"

"Sir, yes sir!" my troops yelled in reply.

"Don't call me sir, I work for a living," I answered.

Levy's face scrunched up. "Well, what do we call you?"

"Yeah, man," added Oddball. "Are you like a drill sergeant or something, man?"

"I'm not a sergeant," I said.

"Yeah," pointed out Klinger. "He's a corporal."

"Like a drill corporal?" asked Camisa-Roja.

"No. I'm not a drill corporal," I said. "I'm the squad leader."

"Oh and the joy-joy way you lead this squad!" Huxley squealed. "There's a new shepherd in town!"

"That's sheriff," I corrected. "And I'm not the sheriff, I'm the squad leader." I stopped and looked at Maggot. He had his eyes pinched shut and he was whispering something through clenched teeth. I leaned closer.

"...The lord is my shepherd I shall not want," he breathed.

"Maggot!" he snapped out of it and looked at me. "Are you OK?"

"Oh sure," he replied. "I'm fine, Corporal."

"Good," I started moving up and down the line again. "This mission is going to be tough and we've got to stay frosty. We're going to be on our own out there, that's why the training's going to be the toughest of your lives. Your mommies aren't here for you now and your daddies aren't here for you now. I'm your mommy and daddy now!"

"You're my mommy?" Levy asked.

"Well, figuratively," I explained.

"Well of course," said Klinger. "Not for real. That's crazy. You're not crazy."

"I'll bet you're crazy," said Huxley. "Crazy like an ox!"

"It's not ox, it's fox," said Camisa-Roja. "Everyone knows that."

"Attention! Attention!" I yelled. "No more of this talking! Now I don't like you and you don't like me, but we're going to train --"

"Wait, you don't like us, man?" asked Oddball. "Wow, that's harsh."

"I like you," Huxley said.

"Really?" I asked. I smiled to myself, she likes me! "OK, everyone fallout for the evening. Tomorrow revelie's at oh..." I looked at my watch. "Six thirty. Dismissed!"


Master Yoda said...

I think here for her good looks, Huxley is.

Vegeta said...

Well the Red shirt guy survived longer than I thought But it's only a matter of time.

Anonymous said...

lol... its it against regs for the squad leader to have anything personal with subordinates?


looks it up and hands Hudson the manuel (see you could have been more than friends but now she is on your team so guess what LOL)

Wedge Antillies said...

So what ice-cream store were you going to capture? With this lot you better not take on anything too difficult.

Professor Xavier said...

I'd watch out for that Oddball. He looks like a hippie to me. And that rhymes with commie, if you know what I mean.

flu said...

Where's Stryker?

Anonymous said...

I believe that Huxley And Oddball Are gonna get hooked up and Leave Hudson out in cold....

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Maggot sounds like he could be a problem.