Monday, February 27, 2006

An Important Address from The Queen

Greetings citizens of the galaxy, I am pleased to be speaking to you once again.

First, I wanted to give everyone an update on Our struggles against the forces of Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord. The Joint Chiefs have just informed me that just last week, a mission against one of Galactor’s middle managers was successful. Between last week’s triumph and the recent victory on Planet Hel, much of Galactor’s financial backbone has been crippled.

While I cannot go into details on last week’s accomplishment, I can tell you about the accomplishments on Hel. Galactor’s Edifice of Evil has been annexed by several development corporations and turned into luxury condos. I know that insurgents continue to cause trouble on the planet, but rest assured the military has things well under control. To that I will only add: mission accomplished.

There is one other thing that I wanted to talk about. My advisors have advised me that I am not connecting with the common beings of the galaxy. They have further counseled Me that a personal story would allow people to feel closer to Me.

OK, so here goes, when I was young girl, my father King Galacton IX, was a busy man but he cared for His family very much. Despite the fact that he had sovereignty over the known galaxy, he still wanted to be sure that his little girl had a happy birthday.

I had made it very clear that the only thing that I wanted for My birthday was a Vandorian weissponig. Everyone knows that weissponigs are a very rare, very special animal. They have a beautiful white coat, they are smart and can learn many tricks, and their perspiration can be harvested as a fragrance or for medicinal purposes. Few people can afford to see one, let alone own one.

Again, I made it very clear that the only thing I wanted for My birthday was a weissponig. I was a young girl and I was very boisterous and impetuous and my father said several times that it was impossible to get one. I don’t want to say that I had a fit or anything, but I was very saddened and I let him know it.

He spent many days up to My birthday assuring me that I could never get one, but lo and behold, on that bright morning, when I woke up, there it was lying next to me. It was the most beautiful white little weissponig I’ve ever seen.

I named her Princess and we had lots of fun together. We spent the whole summer running through meadows, sharing picnic lunches and spending every waking minute together. Eventually, fall passed and winter came and then I got a new pair of rocket skates. Everyone knows that a weissponig can’t ice skate, so my time with her decreased.

So that is the story of My first pet. I sometimes wonder whatever happened to her, though I am quite certain that she moved on to a new and happy home.

One final word. I have put Myself on the blogosphere in order to make Myself more accessible and understood in a personal way. If you have any questions, please feel free to leave them here or at My own blog and I assure you they will be answered.

Thank you and have a pleasant day.


flu said...

gee... I feel such a deep, meaningful, personal connection with you now.

What 'cha doing Friday night?

Wedge Antillies said...

See... I don't think anyone who cannot take care of a pet should be in charge of a whole galaxy. It just makes me nervous, in some way.

I mean, what if she suddenly finds a newer, prettier galaxy somewhere else and leaves us to just, you know fend for ourselves... Hmmmm.

Hey, your majesty, look at that beautiful blue star cluster over there!

Master Yoda said...

Relate to a childhood story like that who can not?

Son Goku said...

what's a pet?

Jo Jo The Monkeyboy's Ghost said...

A pet's like a sidekick, but only different!

Hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Anonymous said...

I think I agree with Wedg
and I thought the weissponig had a silvery horn?

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Maybe next time you can impress us with your common touch by visiting a grocrey store and be amazed by the scanner thingies. or tell us you like pork rhines and horseshoes

Queen Galacta said...

Oh, I love pork rhines and horseshoes.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

AOC, do you mean horseshoes, the food dish? There is such a thing, I'd wager Jaba knows what they are.

Professor Xavier said...

Hmmm, horseshoes. Those go great with pecan butter.

Gyrobo said...

The only pet you need is an electric stove. Those things are 124% loyal.

Private Hudson said...

If they're 124% loyal, what about the other 37%?

Count Dooku said...

I sometimes wonder whatever happened to her, though I am quite certain that she moved on to a new and happy home.
Yes, I think I saw the beast come through Dooku's Glue Factory a few years back.

Gyrobo said...

The other 37% are so loyal that they're practically disloyal by logical excess.

It's like in I, Robot when the robots tried to take over humanity to save it from itself.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Your Majesty, I do have a question.

After my strugle with the traitorous Agent Plovo, I returned to where you and Hudson were. Did I really see what I thought I saw?

Jo Jo The Monkeyboy's Ghost said...

Oooh oooh, I have a question! Pick me! Pick me!

What was your favorite episode of 21 Jumpship?