“WART!” I exclaimed. “WART!’
“What?” Professor Xavier looked at me with a confused look on his face.
“WART,” I repeated. “It’s an acronym for Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Taft. It’s like SHAZAM like I said, get it?”
“I see,” Professor X rubbed his chin. “Actually no. Why would it be WART? Surely there could be some other grouping that could be used.”
“I don’t know, that’s just the order in which I got them,” I shrugged. Then I looked at my fists. “But I’ve totally got the Strength of Washington, which is totally awesome.”
“I don’t think Washington was really known for his physical strength,” the Professor commented.
“Well, I don’t think it’s literal,” I shrugged again. “It’s more like his strength of resolve or something. It’s mine though, like the Sense of Justice from Taft. Why would I get that when he was more known for his exceptional appetite and for playing golf? That’s how these spirit quests work, I guess.”
“Indeed,” the mental giant agreed. “Have you heard anything from Fluke’s end of the campaign?”
“Last I heard, he was in Alaska giving a speech,” I shrugged a third time. “I hear he’s really working the crowds well.”
“I’ll give Fluke credit,” the Professor nodded. “He really does have the ability to get on a crowd’s good side. People really respond to him.”
“Plus he also knows how to spell potato,” I added.
“Yes, though I’m not sure that he knows how to pronounce it,” Professor Xavier replied.
“Jon! Jon! Are you alright?”
It was the Professor; he was looking at me strangely. More so than usual, it would seem.
“What?” I started to feel myself back where I was again. “How long was I out?”
“You were only gone for 15 minutes,” he replied. “At first I thought you were just ‘spacing out’ as the kids like to call it. But then I noticed that there was a change in your brainwave patterns. You had another one of those dreams, didn’t you?”
“I did,” I answered. “I battled Harry Truman. We fought from Louisiana to Berlin. Our blows were thunderously loud, as if a dump truck full of ball peen hammers was dropped onto a cargo ship full of nitroglycerin.”
“Interesting simile, Jon.”
“Well, that’s what it sounded like to me,” I shrugged once more. “In the end, he gave me a new deal: the Resolve of Harry Truman.”
“Very interesting,” Professor X replied. “You have gained the abilities of one more president.”
“Aw, this sucks,” I said.
“What is that?”
“Well that totally blows my whole WART theory out of the water. Now it’s WARTT.”
“That could still work, Jon,” my mutant companion tried to assure me. “It’s just an extra T.”
“Yeah, but no president is going to spell wart with two T’s. Not even the current one,” I shook my head. “No, this won’t work. I don’t know where I’m going from here. I just have to make sense of it all. I just have to… determine… my course of action. Humans… by nature… are an inquisitive species. I! Am! Kirok!”
“Great Captain Kirk impression you devolved into there.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I replied. “I haven’t done that in a while.”
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
“WART!” I exclaimed. “WART!’