Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Dream on! Dream on! dream until your dreams come true

“WART!” I exclaimed. “WART!’

“What?” Professor Xavier looked at me with a confused look on his face.

“WART,” I repeated. “It’s an acronym for Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Taft. It’s like SHAZAM like I said, get it?”

“I see,” Professor X rubbed his chin. “Actually no. Why would it be WART? Surely there could be some other grouping that could be used.”

“I don’t know, that’s just the order in which I got them,” I shrugged. Then I looked at my fists. “But I’ve totally got the Strength of Washington, which is totally awesome.”

“I don’t think Washington was really known for his physical strength,” the Professor commented.

“Well, I don’t think it’s literal,” I shrugged again. “It’s more like his strength of resolve or something. It’s mine though, like the Sense of Justice from Taft. Why would I get that when he was more known for his exceptional appetite and for playing golf? That’s how these spirit quests work, I guess.”

“Indeed,” the mental giant agreed. “Have you heard anything from Fluke’s end of the campaign?”

“Last I heard, he was in Alaska giving a speech,” I shrugged a third time. “I hear he’s really working the crowds well.”

“I’ll give Fluke credit,” the Professor nodded. “He really does have the ability to get on a crowd’s good side. People really respond to him.”

“Plus he also knows how to spell potato,” I added.

“Yes, though I’m not sure that he knows how to pronounce it,” Professor Xavier replied.

“Jon! Jon! Are you alright?”

It was the Professor; he was looking at me strangely. More so than usual, it would seem.

“What?” I started to feel myself back where I was again. “How long was I out?”

“You were only gone for 15 minutes,” he replied. “At first I thought you were just ‘spacing out’ as the kids like to call it. But then I noticed that there was a change in your brainwave patterns. You had another one of those dreams, didn’t you?”

“I did,” I answered. “I battled Harry Truman. We fought from Louisiana to Berlin. Our blows were thunderously loud, as if a dump truck full of ball peen hammers was dropped onto a cargo ship full of nitroglycerin.”

“Interesting simile, Jon.”

“Well, that’s what it sounded like to me,” I shrugged once more. “In the end, he gave me a new deal: the Resolve of Harry Truman.”

“Very interesting,” Professor X replied. “You have gained the abilities of one more president.”

“Aw, this sucks,” I said.

“What is that?”

“Well that totally blows my whole WART theory out of the water. Now it’s WARTT.”

“That could still work, Jon,” my mutant companion tried to assure me. “It’s just an extra T.”

“Yeah, but no president is going to spell wart with two T’s. Not even the current one,” I shook my head. “No, this won’t work. I don’t know where I’m going from here. I just have to make sense of it all. I just have to… determine… my course of action. Humans… by nature… are an inquisitive species. I! Am! Kirok!”

“Great Captain Kirk impression you devolved into there.”

“Yeah, thanks,” I replied. “I haven’t done that in a while.”


A Army Of (Cl)One said...

how about this, use these capitols:
George washington
Abraham lincoln
teddy Rosevelt
willian Taft
Harry truman

and you get GARTH

Or if you just the fisrt two letter in the first names (geabtewiha)you can go with: WAGE BI-HATE, but that is not very PC. THREE BAA WIG? No.

I'll get back to you

Vegeta said...

You can try Garth, Let's just hope you don't become Garth Brooks.

Professor Xavier said...

I thought Kirok was the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, who doesn't get our strange way of life and complicated electronic devices?

And I'm thinking WARTT isn't going to look that good on T-Shirts. We'll have to work on that.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Excellent Kirk impression. Better than Shatner's.

Fluke Starbucker said...

It looks to me like it's going to spell out:

J... O... N- is- O... N... e..., b, a.... d, -m... u... t... h...a, -s...h, u....t -y... o... -m, o... u.... f!

Yep, that has to be it. Of course, you have to be in tune with the cosmos to be able to see that...

... and if you're a little bit double-vision drunk, that doesn't hurt either.

TX said...

Hmm did you drop the L for Lincoln?

Wouldn't it be WALRT?

Or am I just confused?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Garth would be totally awesome like climbing a rope in gym class!

But what do I know, I'm just an unfrozen caveman lawyer. When I talk on my cell phone I think "Oh, are the gods mad at me? Am I hearing voices?"

Maybe "I'm with WARTT" and an arrow pointing to the side like those I'm with stupid T shirts.

Thanks for the compliment, Captain, I think.

Fluke, I think you're on to something.

TX, I don't expect a damned infernal machine to understand because nobody can program a computer to love, dammit.