Monday, October 01, 2007

middle name meme

OK so everyone seems to be doing this lame meme except for me. It’s like everyone is at the party and I’ve got my classic black tuxedo on with the combat boots all shined up and ready to go (plus my gold lamé jumpsuit on underneath, just in case I need to perform) and no one sends me an eVite.

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

2. You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

3. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

W – Wealthy. If you mean love from my family, then I am very wealthy. If you are talking about monetarily wealthy, eh not so much.

I – Ingeniousness. The way I have used my wits to defeat my opponents in battle shows my ingeniousnessocity.

G – Generous. I am generous to a fault. If you come over to my house I’ll definitely give you a beer, maybe some chips too.

G – Gallant. Webster’s defines gallant as 1. Brave; daring; chivalrous. 2. Stately; imposing; noble. 3. Showy, gay, as in attire. That describes me to a T. Oh, it also says something about being chivalrous and attentive to women. That’s me, too.

L – Laugh. I love to laugh and totally be funny and stuff. Remember that one time when I said something hilarious and that one guy spewed his drink out of his nose? That was totally cool.

E – Energetic. It takes energy to defeat an opponent in the Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment.

F – Funktastic. I think this is self explanatory. If it’s not, my wife often tells me that I’m funktastic, especially after a double bean egg burrito with extra onions.

O – Original. I’m one in a million. In a dime-a-dozen world, when the chips are down and the bullet hits the bone, the law of the land says that guys like me are few and far between.

R – Rock Star. My daughter Kiera just told me the other day that she thinks I’m like a rock star. It’s like the “innocence of youth” and “from the mouths of babes” all rolled into one.

D – Dangerous. I’m dangerous. To my opponents, that is.

So there you go. I tag nobody, if you want to do this, go for it.

Cleverly segueing to another topic, in my last post, JawaJuice left a comment that the Junior Intergalactic Gladiator helmets should come with those beer can holders. Well as a very wise man once said “Ask and ye shall receive.”

Junior Intergalactic Gladiator beer helmets are now available in fine stores everywhere. Thanks Double J for the suggestion, you get the very first one off the production line. These high quality items are made in the USA with 100% genuine American parts. No poisonous Chinese lead paint on these babies, they got American lead paint on them.

Fluke sounded like he was looking for one as well. I don’t know why, he’s got his own official Founder of the New Jedi Order wannabe beer helmet.


Fluke Starbucker said...

I need a new one 'cause mine's all empty.


Black Widow said...

if Tony sees those he'll want several

Hotstuff said...

well you got my support only I am not old enough to vote yet

Galen said...

Well I think you going to win by a land slide

Jawa Juice said...

Those are AWESOME!
Thank you very much, Jon, for the nifty gladiator beer helmets and the year supply of beer!

...There was a year supply of beer that came with these things, right?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Wiggleford? Why not?

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Very snazzy

Vegeta said...

Bulma bought me one .. I'm not sure if I'm sad or not that my makes it impossible to wear.

Michele said...

Question from woman living in another country...

Is such a helmet available with Canadian beer? Please, I must know before I decline either way.

Oh, and what is a fluke?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Fluke -- Of course, that makes perfect sense. Let me send you two or three.

Black Widow -- Of course Stark does (Pantomimes drinking) glug glug glug.

Hotstuff -- Aren't you 18 or will be by 2008? If not, perhaps you could go back to that dimension that made you older for a few minutes until you are of leal voting age!

Dubba J -- Nothing's too good for my favorite jawa. Don't forget to tell all your friends and family to vote for me. Yes, I am courting the jawa vote. I don't see anyone else doing it.

Capt. Picard -- Yep, it's an old family name. Translated it means "he who fights in the arena across several galaxies."

Lt. CDR Oneida -- Thank you. Yours is in the mail.

Vegeta -- I'll have to see about getting sizes that fit the giant, Japnimationastic heads of Sayans.

Michele -- Of course, throw a few Molsons or Mooseheads in there. I'm seriously considering courting the Candaian vote as well. I don't see any of my opponents doing that either.

And I believe "Fluke" is Tatooinian for "Dangerously Lucky." Or perhaps "Dangerously Cheesey." You'll have to check with Fluke.

(And thanks for visiting, I was seriously starting to doubt your existence. You could be like Oz or something. "Pay no attention to the Canadian lady with the great gams!")

Mr. Butler said...

I'm not sure what my middle name is. I blame The Haitian. Can I borrow yours?

Spider-man said...

Hmm... Do those helmets come in red and blue?

Professor Xavier said...

Wiggleford? That's not going to sell in Peoria, my friend. I suggest we change it to something a little more middle American. Sammy. Jon Sammy the Intergalactic Gladiator.

I'll work on that a bit more.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

can you make me a pair of Scarlet Johansen and Maggie Gyllenhaal ear muffs?