A lot of people have been coming up to me and asking how I can possibly stay in shape to be an Intergalactic Gladiator and presidential candidate. Like this kid for instance.
“Gosh, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, you’re so strong and brave,” said little Ralphie. “How can I grow up to be just like you?”
Well, I’ll show you little Ralphie and I’ll show all my Junior Intergalactic Gladiators, too.
I top it off with a little wall climbing. There you go kids, that’s how Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator starts off his day. Now I’m ready for whatever’s out there, be it a giant Tresedelian caveworm, Orwellian Pantherbot, or a congressional filibuster.
“Wow, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, that sure was swell!”
Thanks kid. When you think about it, wouldn’t you want a president who’s in top physical condition? That’s why I’m your best candidate for president of the United States, because my mind is sharp as is my body. Isn’t that right, Timmy?
“Uh, my name’s Ralphie.”