Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Finally, we're ready to spring into action

It feels like we've been cramped in here for days, but now we're ready to go.

The tractor beam drew the Pegasus Elite into the middle of the station's docking bay. The high-speed craft settled onto it's landing struts onto the deck and it's engines powered down. After a moment, the front landing ramp lowered and clanged into position.

Everything was quiet, but then several steel spheres rolled down the ramp and spun off in all directions. Simultaneously, the spheres exploded with bright, stunning flashes.

Jan, Hudson and I popped up through the roof hatch of the ship with guns blazing. Jan had her blaster rifle, I was firing my two pistols because firing two pistols always looks cool, and Hudson had his M41A Pulse Rifle, naturally.

We fired at computer terminals, we fired at lights, we fired at cameras, barrels, tool cases, panel, doors. We did not fire at any henchmen. Interestingly, we were the only three in the hangar.

"Where are the hordes of enemy troops?" Jan wondered aloud.

"This place is empty," I looked around. "Why aren't they pouring through the doors trying to get us?"

"Oh man," Hudson looked around. "Do you think they're in the walls?"

"It's just quiet," I answered.

"Too quiet," Jan added.

We walked over to a functioning computer station and looked at the screen. "Maybe we could hack in and get the lowdown on this station," I said. "Here's the terminal, if only we had a droid or something that could hack in."

"R2! R2!" Hudson called out.

"Why are you saying that?" Jan looked at him.

"The R and 2 buttons are damaged on this keyboard," he answered. "It may be tough to work at this station."

"Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly!" A voice boomed through an intercom.

"We're being watched," Hudson looked around.

"No kidding," Jan answered with a touch of sarcasm.

"Who are you?" I called out. I felt another attack hitting my brain. "Ya dang varmint!"

"Does whatever's affecting you have a 'grizzled prospector' setting or something?" Jan said while looking at me.

"Quiet, missy," I shook my fist at her in impotent rage.

"Looks like the cat has some mice caught in his trap," the voice on the PA cooly echoed through the bay.

"Why would a cat have a trap?" Hudson asked.

"I'm fixin' to give that fella whatfer!" I shook my fist in more impotent rage.

We looked at the open blast door that led to the corridors of the station. We had a choice, left or right.

"Well, we can't just stand around here," said Jan. "Let's find get this guy so we can get out of here."

"OK, let's go left," Hudson started that way.

"How do you know that's the right way?" Jan asked.

"Look, I've been on stations just like this," he answered. "When you get out of the docking bay, you always go left, left, right to get to the turbolifts."

"No no," Jan shook her head. "I've been inside this exact same model before. We have to go right, left, left to get to the lifts."

"Left, left, right," Hudson asserted.

"Right, left, left," Jan growled back.

"I'll solve this, ya dang whippersnappers!" And with that, I spit heavily on to my palm. I then smacked the palm with my fist and the spittle flew off to the right. "We go right."

Jan and Hudson shrugged in agreement and we started off down the corridor.

"Ha ha ha," laughed the deep voice over the speakers. "Come to me, my prey. I am the lion that will hunt you in this trap."

"You know, it's the female lions who hunt." Jan called out.

"Alright, fine!" the voice answered. "I am the tiger that will hunt you in his tiger trap!"


Gyrobo said...

This is just like the ending of Rockey IV.

Wedge Antillies said...

Actually, now I ham having flash-backs from Phantom of the Opera. Still, it should be interesting and fun.

And Jon, that 'spitting in you hand' trick? It never really works for me. I just end up drooling on my uniform.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

It works only for grizzled old prospectors, I do believe.

Anonymous said...

I know that you know that we know that this is a trap , ya know !

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Dear sir,

The reason that there were no henchmen around, was that I called a strike. Listen, this what happens when you don't give Dental.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Professor Xavier said...

So . . the bad guy is actually a spider?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Either a spider or a cat or something.

The Amazing Spider Cat?

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Watch your back or you'll be trapped like a pack of wild mongoose chased by a monkey. (Your evil villain has been teaching me how to make up metaphors)

Lori said...

"whippersnappers"......Too funny Jon!!!

Have a great day!!

Anonymous said...

hmm maybe he is Dr Claw and spinners

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Well, if you're lucky, his weapons will be as out dated and bad as his metaphors. Good thing you brought Jan along

Karnov said...

It needs more cowbell!

TX said...

*looks around... added to list*

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh boy...

(cue music, roll opening credits)

TX said...

Private William Hudson?

Private Hudson said...

Uh, yes?

JawaJuice said...

You went right? Noooo!
You’re heading directly into the creamy center of the ship where all become lost in its rich choleric intake.

Lori said...


200th post party at my place!!

Have a great day!!!