Monday, May 22, 2006

I had the space suit on and I was ready

Ready for the space walk. I made my way to the open bay doors.

"Wait," Jan said. She rushed into her ship and came back out with something in her hand.

"What is it?" I asked.

"For luck," she answered and handed me a potato.

"A potato?"

"What are you Irish or something?" Hudson asked.

Jan looked at him like she was about to smack him good. She took a breath and answered.

"Yes," she said. "The last name's O'Mega."

"You know there are probably better good luck charms out there," I said. "Four leaf clover, a horseshoe, a lucky rancor's foot."

"Those lucky rancor's feet aren't so lucky for the rancor," Jan smirked.

With the lucky potato stashed in a compartment on the suit, I pushed my way through the difuseable force field of the open door and floated away from the station's artificial gravity.

I was following the map that I had dialed up on my Wristcomm, heading towards the exaust vent when I started thinking of one of my favorite songs -- the Birthday Dirge.

(To the tune of the Volga Boatmen)

Happy Birthday! (huh!) Happy Birthday! (huh!)
Women crying in despair, children dying everywhere

Happy Birthday! (huh!) Happy Birthday! (huh!)
Now another year has past, we sure hope it is your last.

Happy Birthday! (huh!) Happy Birthday! (huh!)
May the cities in your wake, burn like candles on a cake.

Happy Birthday! (huh!) Happy Birthday! (huh!)
Burn the castle storm the keep, kill the women SAVE THE SHEEP!

Happy Birthday! (huh!) Happy Birthday! (huh!)
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue, your children plot to murder you

Happy Birthday! (huh!) Happy Birthday! (huh!)
On the ground is blood and eggs, Easter Bunny broke his legs

Happy Birthday! (huh!) Happy Birthday! (huh!)
Birthdays come but once a year, marking time as Death draws near.

Happy Birthday! (huh!) Happy Birthday! (huh!)

There were more verses, but I snapped out of it when I saw enemy craft approaching.

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I was close to the exhaust vent, but the ships were swarming all around. They were so fast, that they were easily able to avoid my fire.

I was trapped. Trapped like a rat -- in space!

To be continued...


flu said...

At least you've got a banana and a potato - that has to ease your mind a bit, right?

btw, happy Birthday.

Wedge Antillies said...

So you won't starve while you are out getting yourself blown to bits. Yeah, a potato makes sense, NOT!

Magdalena said...


well your in it now

Gyrobo said...

If only you could make it to the party on planet Potatoho.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Aren't there two E's in Potatoho?

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Too bad you didn't bring any of Hudson's pick up lines with you. then you could have a Potato with cheese.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A potato please, Mr Quayle.

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Happy Birthday Jon...Oh and don't die..Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Professor Xavier said...

Whoever wrote that is a regular Burt Bacharach.

Anonymous said...

A spaced out rat trap ?

Stick The Spud in the portal, point the banana at them like a gun and just maybe you will slip away

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Happy Birthday!

Wolverine said...

Happy Birthday bub!

Captain Berk said...

What a beautiful uplifting song!

The potato will make a nice snack if you get stranded if you get hungry on the trench run.

Anonymous said...