Thursday, July 28, 2005

I Hate Sidekicks Part Two

I never intended the that the last post be the end all on sidekicks, yet I feel that I certainly missed a few important ones that have graced our lives in the past 20 or so years. I'll start with Fluke's suggestion of Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.

Oh no, they're on top of giant bean crocks!
This team was on the Sid and Marty Kroft Supershow on Saturday mornings. They were kind of like Batman and Robin but they had giant wrist devices that shot electric bolts that shattered glass and knocked people over. It was very campy, but not quite as campy-cool as Adam West and Burt Ward. You have to give them their due, though, for being able to push empowerment for women, yet have the cheesecake on display for the men.

I found a nice video of Dyna Girl turning evil! Evil Dyna Girl is totally hot! Image and video courtesy of Electra Woman and Dyna Girl Webpedia.

Daggit was a robotic dog from Battlestar Galactica. He hung with Boxey during Galactica's quest for a shiney planet called Earth.

Wait a minute, that was a monkey in that suit? You lied to me! Damn you all! Damn you all to hell!!

Twiki was Buck Rogers robotic companion. With his trademark "Beedeep beedeep beedeep," voiced by no less than the Man himself Mel Blanc, Twiki had the job of supplying the occasional sardonic comment as well as carrying Dr. Theopolis around. There was one episode where he got to dance with a female robot. Two robots gettin' down in a space disco is truly a spectacular site, indeed.

HERBIE the Robot hung with the Fantastic Four in their 1978 cartoon when censors thought that Human Torch would inspire kids to set themselves on fire. Previous and subsequent FF cartoons did feature Torch, though, so who's the idiot now, Flanders?

The Godzilla cartoon featured Godzuki, who's entire purpose in life was to stir up trouble with a giant monster then call for help from his Uncle Godzilla, who would smash the monster du jour. I tell you, I would certainly cause a lot of trouble myself if I knew that all I had to do was summon my gigantic fire-breathing uncle to save my bacon. "What, you won't seat me at the buffet now? Oh Uncle Earl!"

MASK had count 'em two sidekicks. Matt Trakker's son Scott and his robot T-Bob, who looked like a certain astromech droid with a wheel sticking out of his hiney. The two would always hide in the trunk of Matt's flying car whenever he would take off to stop VENOM's plan to blow up the oil fields or steal the platinum or whatever.

I did not want to do this. I did not want to do this, but I got a request for it. What do you do when the sidekick gets a sidekick? The answer is Scrappy Doo and Scooby Dum. There was also a Scooby gramps and a cousin, too, but I am not barking any further up this family tree. The Scooby cartoons in all their forms were bad and the movies were worse. Matthew Lillard, you made a fine Shaggy, but I know you can do better. I've seen SLC Punk.

Sidekicks was briefly a television show starring Gil "Buck Rogers" Gerard and Ernie Reyes Jr. Reyes is legitimately a black belt, but I could never buy the concept of him as a kid kicking and throwing around 200 pound thugs. A much better fight scene between him and Dwayne Johnson can be seen in The Rundown.

Silly Jonathan Brandis, M-249 Squad Automatic Weapons weren't in 'Nam!
Sidekicks was also a movie starring Jonathan Brandis as an asthmatic Walter Mitty type (read a book!) who dreams of teaming up with Chuck Norris. It's an OK movie, but it did have a nice message about believing in yourself and trying your best.

Xena had Gabrielle as a traveling companion and they've even kissed, much to the delight of middle aged men living in their parents' basement and mullet-sporting women everywhere.

And of course, there is the Suzuki Sidekick. Isn't that cute? It's like a little SUV!

So there's my second list of sidekicks, many of whom were useful as companions, like Gabrielle, interesting people, like Evil Dyna Girl, or even useful conceptually, like catapulting a Suzuki at a castle that you are laying siege to. I would've settled for Twiki or maybe even T-Bob, but no... I... get... this... thing.

How's it goin' boss?


j00|{z said...

What's his name?

flu said...


*gasp*...and you mentioned me in the same sentence as them!

*swallows hard*...and you linked a fine shrine! goes downhill from there, though, don't it?

*eyes light up*...and then there's Xena and Gabby! They're heaps of fun to toss horseshoes and do team push-ups with! I remember the last time they were over at the farm, those two took the time to oil my droid. They're sweethearts. how do you think you can rid yourself of this newly assigned sidekick?...and what do you call him...or her...or it(I guess)?...and just what is it, anyway?

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmmmm....there seems to be a similar pattern here to another blogger i know of....wonder if there is any relation.

go C3PO....!!! all hail star wars and such and I HATE SIDEKICKS too! especially the stupid chic in ZENA...she really annoyed me.

JawaJuice said...

Great posts! (So many shows I tried so hard to forget...)
So where can I get me a side-kick?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wookie and Fluke, my sidekick's name shall soon be revealed.

Mitzee, I am not pretty certain that I am not who you think I am, seeing as how my underpants only say "Jon The Intergalactic Gladiator" on them.

JJ, I think they have a union. I thought you were Qui-Gon's sidekick.

JawaJuice said...

So you're saying sidekicks can't have sidekicks? What if it's a pet sidekick?

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