Friday, November 18, 2005

"Oh sh--"

This post is rated PG for adult language. Reader discretion is advised.

Shortly before Kiera turned two, she started listening to what we were saying very carefully and mimicking it. Now I am no sailor, but I know my share of curse words. My wife, on the other hand, is a Chicago Public School teacher and and has learned some very creative language from her students. So we tried to be careful what we were saying in front of the girl. I even started saying "son-u-mar bitch" instead of "son of a bitch," to keep the phrase far from her vocabulary.

One day, however, my wife said "Oh shit" after dropping a box of cereal.

We hoped that Kiera didn't pick it up, but several days later Kiera was playing with a necklace when she dropped it and said "Oh shit."

"You really shouldn't say that," said Patricia.

"Yes I should," Kiera said. "I dropped it."

Who could argue with that logic?

So my wife and I tried very hard not to empower that word. If Kiera said it again, we wouldn't hop up and down yelling. We would very carefully choose our words and tell her that saying that is not appropriate.

One day, Patricia had Kiera strapped into her carseat, they were cut off by another car and Patricia muttered "Oh shit" under her breath.

"Mommy, did you say 'Oh shit?'" Kiera asked.

"Oh, I really shouldn't say that" my wife replied. "We really shouldn't say that word."

"We shouldn't say 'Oh shit?'" the youngling inquired.

"Right," Patricia affirmed.

"You mean 'Oh shit?"

"You shouldn't say that."

"You shouldn't say 'Oh shit?'" Kiera asked again.

"Kiera, stop saying that," said my wife.

"Stop saying what?" Kiera asked. "'Oh shit?'"

At that point, my wife had to pull over because she was laughing so hard.


OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Im here from Michele...This is VERY VERY funny! Your little girl is absolutely ADORABLE!!! What a fabulous photo!! I love it! And I love that there's no turning bsck now, is there... Oh Shit!

Aginoth said...

You have got to Google "Volkswagen Bollocks Advert" You'll be in stitches

Michelle sent me

Master Yoda said...

One of the reasons that try to keep the Younglings away from Kenobi I have to, this is.

Tara said...

That's a riot. I have a little parrot myself, but since her dad teaches her songs like "Baby Got Back", I figure I'm pretty much doomed no matter what.

BTW, Michele sent me!

Karnov said...


Kids are great.

I can't wait to have a little boy so i can teach him how to make manly noises when going to the can.

Carmi said...

Thank you for writing so eloquently about something we all go through as we raise our kids.

I laughed through this one as well. Thanks for sharing it!

Visiting from Michele's today. Hope we're all ready for the weekend.

Karnov said...


Karnov said...

Boy, Larry King sure loves his prune juice.

kenju said...

Jon, I PLANNED to come and visit you right after Erin, you just didn't give me enough time.

You really DO have to be careful what you say in front of her. I was babysitting my grandkids one summer and the 8 year old said, just as the dog got into the hosue for the 5th time......"Fu**ing dog!" My husband and I nearly fell off our chairs. He learned it from his dad (the now ex- son-in-law).

Michele sent me.

WendyWings said...

My poor four year old has a nearly 19 year old brother and two other teen siblings.
So far she has not sworn in my ear shot but I know it is coming.

flu said...

That's so funny!

It'll get worse before it gets better... trust me... it'll still be pretty funny though.

I've got to hand it to you for that one.

Michele didn't send me.

JawaJuice said...

That's just too F***ing funny.

JawaJuice said...

On a more serious note, when she grows up, will you allow her to be an intergalactic gladiator if that’s what she wants to do?
She's got the hair it.

Professor Xavier said...

Now that was some funny shit.

Lori said...

Ohhh she is the cutest little thing!!!....Oh something I USED to say......untill I heard a little echo....and of course that broke me....So she quit saying it as well....But sometimes they say some of the funniest things....and your trying to be so serious....and can't help but laugh.....Mine is 3 years old...and comes up with some stuff!!!

Have a great day!!!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

That was hilarious. Kiera is a sharp young girl.

j00|{z said...

lol! Think of what her classmates will learn from her.

J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

That's why women shouldn't swear.

Anonymous said...

Men too.