Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Fluke's Portfolio

I was leaving the studio that filmed "Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, This is Your Life" when I looked down and noticed something on the ground. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be Fluke Starbucker's portfolio. It had a cover letter:

Dear Sir or Ma'am,

Thank you for this wonderful opportunity, enclosed you will find several glossy 8x10's of my previous work.

I have several years experience both on stage and in front of the camera. I also have a strong dance background in jazz, tap and ballet.

Please feel free to contact me should a need for my talents arise, you may email me at the address below or contact my agent at JJ Juice Talent Agency.

Sincerely, Fluke Starbucker

My glossy.

As demonstrated in several of these photos, I am capable of doing stunt work.

I have equestrian experience.

I am able to work well with others in a variety of different situations.

I can play the lead in an action movie...

A studious professor type...

A romantic lead...

De Niro has nothing on my chameleon-like ability to become the role.

Some say that I am Dynamite.

This is not actually from any production, Yoda is just one lazy old man.

And finally, my greatest role ever.


Karnov said...

"This is not actually from any production, Yoda is just one lazy old man."

Ooooh... I never knew. Guess he uses stunt-doubles for light-sabre duels.

F.O.O.F. said...

Hey, we’ll pay handsomely for those photos! Hell, we’ll pay grotesque for those photos! We’ve even got a shrine with some actual replica die-cast plastic blast helmets that those puppies will go great with.
You seem to know a lot about ol’ Fluke. Wanna join F.O.O.F.?

flu said...

Uh, Jon, thanks for the exposure, but don't expect me to pay you any advertising royalties, k?

...and that last greatest role was very difficult to get into character for... I will never again do the wax. NEVER!

Oh, and don't tell f.o.o.f. I was here, k?

Professor Xavier said...

Very impressive. I predict that Fluke will be one of the biggest and most important celebrities in Hollywood history.

Master Yoda said...

Lazy I am not! Corns on my feet I have! Walk as well you will not when almost 900 years old your reach! Hmph!