Friday, March 03, 2006

Town Hall Session with Queen Galacta

Ladies and gentlebeings, Her Majesty, Queen Galacta IX.

Queen Galacta: Thank you everyone for coming to this town hall meeting. So without further ado, let’s get down to business. First question, yes?

Fluke Starbucker: After your message on Monday, I feel such a deep, meaningful, personal connection with you now.

What 'cha doing Friday night?

Queen Galacta: Normally, many of my Friday nights are spent administrating this galaxy. I do, however, have a very formal affair to go to tonight. Would you care to accompany me to the Space Opera? Pat Paulsen and Ben Stein will be singing the pop hits of the 80’s, opera style.

Wedge Antilles: This is also in regards to your message on Monday. I don't think anyone who cannot take care of a pet should be in charge of a whole galaxy. It just makes me nervous, in some way.

I mean, what if you suddenly find a newer, prettier galaxy somewhere else and leaves us to just, you know fend for ourselves... Hmmmm.

Hey, your majesty, look at that beautiful blue star cluster over there!

Queen Galacta: That is a very nice looking star cluster. Do not worry, citizen, both my ability to benevolently rule the galaxy and my attention span are fine. Next?

Master Yoda: Relate to a childhood story like that who can not?

Queen Galacta: Thank you. Did you have a question?

Master Yoda: Mind if I swim in your eyes for a while?

Queen Galacta: Not at all, thank you. Next question? You, with the sassy attire.

Vampirella: I thought a weissponig had a silvery horn.

Queen Galacta: I am sure many of them do. The one I had as a child did not, obviously. Next question? You, the robot with the flashy animated smile.

Gyrobo: The only pet you need is an electric stove. Those things are 124% loyal.

Queen Galacta: Can you phrase that in the form of a question?

Gyrobo: Did you like in I, Robot when the robots tried to take over humanity to save it from itself?

Queen Galacta: That movie was an entertaining piece of fiction. The possibility of that happening in real life, however, seems pretty far fetched.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: Your Majesty, I do have a question.

After my struggle with the traitorous Agent Plovo, I returned to where you and Hudson were. Did I really see what I thought I saw?

Queen Galacta: Um, that is an interesting question, Gladiator. I would just like to say that in the heat of the moment, the Private and I had a personal moment and I would not like to comment further, er, on the moment.

Jo Jo the Monkeyboy's Ghost: Oooh oooh, I have a question! Pick me! Pick me!

Queen Galacta: Normally, I don’t believe that I field questions from non-living beings, but please go ahead.

Jo Jo the Monkeyboy's Ghost: What was your favorite episode of 21 Jumpship?

Queen Galacta: It would probably have to be that one where the Captain threatens to throw Officer Hansen off the force if he continues the investigation and Hansen catches the crook anyway. Next question?

Professor Xavier: I got a ticket yesterday for doing 47mph in a 35 zone. Can you do anything about that for me?

Queen Galacta: Is that 47 Million Parsecs per Hecterger? That doesn’t seem too fast to me.

Professor Xavier: Ah, no, it was 47 Miles Per Hour.

Queen Galacta: Miles Per Hour? Who clocks speed that way?

Professor Xavier: The Westchester County Sherriff’s Department on Earth.

Queen Galacta: Oh, I’m sorry sweetie, it’s My policy to not interfere in a local government’s law enforcement or revenue generating practices.

Professor Xavier: I have a follow up comment, Your Majesty. While I've never thought hereditary forms of government prove all that stable over the long term, neither do any other form of government. I hope your reign is long and prosperous.

Queen Galacta: Oh that’s sweet, thank you. I have time for one more question. You, sir, in the robe.

JawaJuice : Yes, I have two questions for you, your majesty.
If you are the queen of the galaxy, how do you account the existence of other galactic power bases such as the Galactic Senate and the soon to be Empire (among others)? Are they under your command or not?

Queen Galacta: There is a Galactic Senate in this galaxy, but clearly, the Galactic Senate that you are referring to is in another galaxy. In fact, the galaxy that you reside in is from a long time ago and is far, far away. I’m not even sure why you’re here, come to think of it, but I thank you for visiting nonetheless. You said that you had a second question?

JawaJuice: Yes, my second question… How big are those?

Queen Galacta: The galaxies? They’re very large, almost immeasurable really. I know everyone certainly appreciates that they are there, though. I know that I get complimented on mine frequently. Thank you everyone, that is all the time that I have for today.


Anonymous said...

I should have asked more questions If I had known she would have answered them LOL

Cause I have lots like ... Who does your makeup and dont they know less is more

(okay onieda said it first but I agree with her :P)

flu said...

I wish I could tell would she's lookin at when she's talkin...

Wedge Antillies said...

Well, that does clear all that up. Next time she should serve a little brunch at these press conferences.

Where's the little pilot's room?

Queen Galacta said...

Little pilot's room? Like the cockpit of your spaceship?

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

You know there are outfits that won't shove your galaxies so far up and close to your chin. And yes, less is more, except in regards to your top, I wouldn't go much less in that department. Though it might boost morale.

Have any sibling? And do you have handmaidens? If so, what do you make them wear as a uniform?

Professor Xavier said...

She called me "sweetie"! I think I'll have this smile on my face for a week!

Magneto said...

I have a question. Would you like some help in ruling the galaxy? I always though King Magneto had a nice ring to it. I have a rabbi standing by in case you say yes.

JawaJuice said...

no no no...
How big are THOSE!!!

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Hudson?!?!?!?! why!?!??! what?!!?!?!? augghhhh?!!??!?!

(well, you get the point)

Karnov said...

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

His Majesty said...

You insistence on being part of the royalty makes my oil-colored blood activate my hilarity chip. Have you ever forced your minions to work 30 hours a day against their will on a giant statue depicting freedom? I think not. Being the earthly manifestation of the various and unspecific robot gods, I know a thing or two about government.

I am the anointed, bringer of doom! No one can stand in my way, for I am King Evil Robo-Bob Dole! Bwa ha ha!

Gyrobo said...

I had no idea my conversation was being recorded. Wiretaps!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

How come the Professor gets to ask more than one question while I'm put at the back and have to try and wave my arms but no one takes any notice?

Professor Xavier said...

I'm sorry, did you say something, Jean-Luc?

Scouser said...

Hey, just popped in to say Hi, Michele sent me.. Interesting council meating.