Monday, March 20, 2006

Destiny Awaits

As I stepped into Dr. Destiny’s office, he stood up from his desk to offer me a handshake.

“Come in, come in, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator,” he said. “I’m more than pleased to see you again. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” I answered. “Sinew Nu wanted me to see you because I just got back from Big Brother Naboo.”

“Oh sure, you’re as fit as a fiddle, I’m sure,” Destiny said. “I did hear through the grapevine that you just got back.”

“Yep,” I nodded. “Just don’t ask me if I won.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Destiny declared. “I’ve been watching it, though, and I know you gave it 110%.”

“Sure I did.”

“You did make it past the final four. I say victory was yours for the taking.”

“Well, I did have to compete against some tough talent.”

“But you have what it takes to go all the way,” Destiny praised. “You’ve been running roughshod all over them.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” I replied.

“I mean, you worked like a dog to reign supreme,” he continued. “You played above the rim, you never threw in the towel, and you took it the whole nine yards.”

“I did give it my all.”

“You knew that when it was time to take the plunge, you were ready to step up to the plate. You kept your nose to the grindstone until the cows came home.”

“I think you’re taking this a little far,” I stated.

“You established the running game because you knew it would be in the bag,” Destiny declared. “You know, I consider myself a bit of an armchair quarterback.”

“OK. Sure,” I said.

“And I’m thinking ‘When you’re a Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, you know what it’s going to take to beat the competition,’” Destiny commented. “Oneida just couldn’t run with the big dogs.”

“Ok, if you say so.”

“Typho has too many off the field distractions and Fluke is missing a few pieces of the puzzle. They were both on the hot seat and under fire!”

“So you have it all figured out, huh?”

“Oh sure,” the psychiatrist affirmed. “With you, what you see is what you get. You kept your head in the game and you were ready for your day in the sun.”

“So they couldn’t hold a candle to me,” I smirked. “I had the stuff that dreams are made of.”

“It goes without saying.”

“They were up a creek.”

“You had understated elegance. You came to play.”

“I brought my A game.”

“You showed a lot of heart.”

“It was a war out there.”

“Of epic proportions.”

“It was a one in a million shot.”

“You went out on top.”

“Do you realize,” I said. “We just used every cliché in the book?”

“Oh, I avoid clichés like the plague,” Destiny replied.

“Because you're tough as nails,” I laughed.

“No, because I know when to nip it in the bud.”

11 comments:

Wedge Antillies said...

And that's the name of that tune!

JawaJuice said...

I don’t know what everyone is complaining about. I think this Destiny is a fine doctor. Any doctor who spouts clichés and smokes if okay in my book

Gyrobo said...

Wait! Before I read this thing, I'm gonna make a prediction: he's going to ask you who won. Am I right?! I'll soon find out...

Gyrobo said...

Strange... I'm rarely wrong. Sorcery!

Professor Xavier said...

Well at least it wasn't time to take off the gloves. That can always get messy.

Jabafatboy said...

I believe that Dr destiny just said about 2500 credits worth, man are you gonna flip when you get that bill.

Pop a top
Deep six
Jump through a hoop
Kick the dog

Etc:

Master Yoda said...

I hope that started your billed hour yet, he has not.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Wow, I haven't seen that many bad Cliches since watching any sports show with Jonh Madden.

flu said...

Great cliche post Jon, but sheesh, about halfway through, I started wondering when the fat lady was gonna sing.

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

I'm still stuck on a Doctor who smokes in his own office. Well, at least he can't get on your case about not taking your pills, eating right, or getting enough excercise.

flu said...

my doctor always smoked filterless pall malls in the exam room while reading your chart, before asking, "why are you here?"