Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Return to Hacknor (honest)

I got back to Planet Hacknor were I was going to resume my intergalactic gladiating duties. Hudson was there, and he had the goofiest grin on his face.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked. "You look like Sylvester with a mouth full of Tweety."

"I can't tell you," he smirked. Then he leaned closer. "Top secret."

"Oh," I replied. "It almost looks to me like you were on some kind of classified mission that was later deemed illegal, almost kicked out of the Colonial Marines, but then awarded a certificate of achievement or something."

Hudson's smile dropped. He was silent for few moments.

"It was a certificate of appreciation," he answered flatly. Then he changed the subject. "So tell me, how did you do on Big Brother: Naboo? The final couple weeks haven't aired here yet."

"Oh, I can't tell you," I said. Then it was my turn to lean in closer. "I signed a form that says I can't divulge the ending until it airs."

"Aw come on," Hudson pleaded. "We're a team, Abbot and Costello, Flint and Lady Jaye, Hall and Oates. You can tell me."

"Nope. Nice try, though."

I walked away and soon met my good friend Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm in the hallway.

"Welcome back, friend Jon!" He roared and slapped me on the back. "You are very brave warrior, taking on those pirates, yes?"

"Well, it was tough," I answered. "Somehow, I just knew that I would prevail though."

"Ho ho, yes," Starkey roared. "Big Brother was very fun and exciting! I have but one question, though."


"Did you emerge victorious at the game? The ending has not been seen by me yet."

"Oh, I can't tell you," I answered. "I signed a form."

"Is it form like J'onn Sinew Nu's forms?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," I harrumphed. "Just as bad."

"Oh, then you are lucky that you did not sign your entrails away!"

"No kidding," I chuckled. I then made my way to the aforementioned Sinew Nu's office.

"Jon, Jon, Jon," Sinew Nu smiled. He smiled like he was ready to pounce. "You did great on that show. You represented the Intergalactic Gladiating Entertainment (formerly the Intergalactic Gladiating Federation) very well."

"Thanks," I answered. "It was good to see some of my buddies again."

"The only thing is," Sinew Nu said.

OK, he's going to ask, too. I rolled my eyes. "Yes?"

"Did you win?" he asked.

"I can't tell you," I said. "I signed a form."

"Aw, you can tell me," he asserted. "I won't tell anyone."

"Sorry. I just can't."

"Hey, I'm your boss," he answered. "You have to tell me."

"I can't, I signed a form."

"Oooh," he puckered his lips then frowned. "Is it like one of mine?"


"Heh heh, you're lucky that you got out of there with you gizzard intact."

"Well fortunately, I don't have a gizzard," I answered.

"Hey, I don't know much about your crazy Earth physiology," he snorted. "Which reminds me, you have another appointment with Dr. Destiny. You can see him tomorrow."

"Great," I walked out of the office and made my way back to my quarters. There I was pinged by the comm system.


"You have a call from Her Majesty Queen Galacta," said the comm tech.

From the Queen? This must be important!

"Put her through!" I said quickly.

"Gladiator, so good to speak to you again," came the Queen's voice over the radio. "You represented your galaxy very well on Big Brother: Naboo."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," I answered. "It was a very interesting experience."

"I have just one question," She said.


"Did you win?"


Karnov said...

Surely you can tell the queen. A woman of honor would never divulge a secret. =p

Wedge Antillies said...

Well, I must say, my excitment is increasing by the day!

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Ha Ha, those crazy folks all aslking you the same question, which is funny becasue you know none of them can keep a secret...unlike a certain clone trooper you know *look around to see if anyone is in earshot*
*whispers* "So, Jon you did you win?"

Gyrobo said...

If only you were a robot, you could easily delete the data from your brain. That's how I got out of grocery shopping.

flu said...

Why didn't you tell me you were a harrumpher!

Gee, just when you think you know a guy...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I only harumph when neccesery. I really try to avoid it, I do.

Anonymous said...

hey Jon glad your home...

You should come by the Mansion and have a drink
and another and another

okay Jon how many fingers am I holding up

okay let me ask you another question :P

Professor Xavier said...

So . . did you win?

Anonymous said...

I tried to harrauhhmp once , I think I pulled a muscle.

Ya Ya Hutts got muscles

JawaJuice said...

...just in their heads.

Master Yoda said...

*Waves hand* Tell me if you won, you will.

Son Goku said...

I didn't win. what the? Yoda stop that! I wasn't even the one it was aimed at and it still worked on me aw man!

Professor Xavier said...

Whoops. Those network lawyers are bloodhounds Goku. Don't be surprised if someone comes knocking on your door.

Son Goku said...

but everyone knows I didn't win Professor I wasn't on it. Stupid Jedi Mind trick makes me lose the Tournament now it makes network lawyers mad at me.

Professor Xavier said...

That's what I get for watching PBS.