To the Cerebro!

After a thorough analysis, Professor Xavier and I concluded that the Emma Frost imposter in the picture was none other than Mystique. The Professor didn’t know where she was, but he knew that he could find her utilizing his mutant-finding supercomputer, Cerebro.

“Quick, Jon,” he said. “To the Cerebro.”

“You got it,” I answered. “Where’s the elevator to get to it?”

“No time,” the Professor answered. “I had these X-Poles installed just for this occasion.”

“X-Poles?” I asked. “Are we in a strip club or something?”

“No Jon,” he shook his head slightly. “It’s an innovative concept that I had installed in my office. Here.”

He flipped the bobbling head of a Charles Darwin bobblehead back and pressed a secret switch. A nearby bookcase slid smoothly to the side to reveal a set of poles leading into darkness below.

“Uh, so you want me to slide down the pole to Cerebro?” I asked.

“Of course,” Xavier smiled. “It’s not far. You’ll have fun, just like a fireman!”

“I’ve seen this before,” I replied.

“I don’t think so. I came up with this idea by myself. Of course, I had Forge put it together for me. Any of my X-Men can take that right down to the mansion’s lower levels and be ready for action.”

“And you thought of this on your own?”

“Certainly.”

“You didn’t see it on some TV show or anything?”

“Heavens not, Jon,” Professor Xavier shuddered a little. “What are you even talking about?”

“You know, a show about a certain caped crusader?” I prodded.

“Caped what?” he looked taken aback. “I would never support a product featuring him. He’s the competition, you know. I assure you, I came up with the idea and Forge engineered it to X-Men specifications.”

“Alright,” I answered. I guess some things just aren’t worth arguing over. “I’ll take the pole. If you take the pole, though, how are you going to get your wheelchair down?”

“Me take the pole? Oh heavens no, I’ll just take the lift over there.”

“Suit yourself.” I gave a jaunty salute and slid down the pole to the lower level.

I reached the end of the ride and my feet were met by a thick cushion. I stepped off it and down a couple of steps where I met the Professor coming out of his elevator.

“See, Jon,” he said. “I told you that you’d be fi—oh my!”

“What is it?” I asked.

“It looks like Forge got the Automatic X-Costume Device up and running. That was unexpected.”

I looked in a convenient, nearby mirror and say that I had been outfitted in Cyclops’ uniform.

“Oh well,” I shrugged. “I guess I’m lucky I didn’t get Storm’s.”