Check This Out

I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do NOT want to eff with me. Check it out! Hey everybody, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badboys will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Whoa! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase-plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks--


Oh my God, what is that? A bug, man! Oh dear Lord Jesus, this ain't happening, man... This can't be happening, man! This isn't happening! I don't know if you noticed or not, but we just got our butts kicked there!


What? Oh, that was just a box elder bug. Nothing to worry about.


As I was saying, me and my buddies were in a bughunt once. All my comrades were totally surrounded by aliens and I pulled out my M41A pulse rifle and it was game over for them! Game over, man!


People come up to me all the time and they say "Private Hudson, what makes you so bad?" And I say "8 years of being a Colonial Marine, too many firefights to count, hundreds of hours of combat training and the best weapons available. That's what makes a man like me 'so bad.'"


All the ladies want some of this, too. Don't you believe that all them chicks just want a pilot or fancy corporate guy. When they get a look at the H-Man, that's right, "Game Over."


Oh man, a bug! We're in some real pretty stuff now man... That's it man, game over man, game over! What the heck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?


Oh wait, that was just a ladybug. I like ladybugs.


See people, there's absolutely nothing to worry about when Private Hudson is here. You can all just relax and enjoy lookin' at the H-Man.