“Private Hudson, you are hereby ordered to go back to your unit and never speak of this mission again,” Admiral Victor Pug ordered.
What?
“Excuse me, sir,” I managed to blurt out. “Did you just tell me to go?”
“Clearly the Private doesn’t want to go,” General Patent chuckled gruffly. “If you want, we can keep you here and discuss a different, more severe punishment.”
“No sir,” I answered. “I’ll gladly go back to my old squad.”
“Here’s the deal, Private,” General Sinclair Sheridan announced. “Though this mission was clearly illegal, Her Majesty already made a public announcement of its success. We, the Joint Chiefs, are over the proverbial barrel.”
“The action occurred,” General H. TuTrotte continued. “The details of which will forever remain classified, but we must acknowledge that it did actually happen. Therefore, you are hereby ordered to go back to your old unit and never acknowledge your knowledge of this mission.”
“Yes ma’am,” I said.
“One last thing, Marine,” Admiral Pug said. “Because of the nature of this mission, we can never fully award you for its successful completion. We can, however, award you this Certificate of Achievement.”
Awesome. that’s so cool. On top of that, because it’s a certificate of achievement, it’s worth 3 promotion points. When I become a corporal, that’ll be 3 points closer to sergeant.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Before we were interupted
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13 comments:
Always reach for the stars. But don't touch them, as they can easily destroy you.
Acknowledge your knowledge of this mission you can not, but acknowledge your knowledge that acknowledge your knowledge of the mission you can not, can you?
That certificate is truly impressive. I wonder if they give them to civilians? It would like perfect in my study next to my award for excellence in personal hygene.
cool certi
Coincidentally, I received a similar medal for secret work done on the interplanetary tunnel between the Earth and Mars. We hope to have it operational by 2011, just in time to evacuate before Armageddon.
I sent away ten ceral box tops and got one similar to that
Rick, that's the best advice I've gotten all day.
I have one for perfect attendance at the battle of Geonosis and one for good citizenship from school on Kiamino
How's this for advice? If Captain America throws his shield at your head - duck.
And if you see the Blob eating a dozen Taco Bell Beef and Potato Buritoes, get out of the room mui rapdio.
And if you see that twinkle in Vampirella's eye that tells you she's hungry, run. Unless of course you want a really interesting experience.
Soooo...am I suppose to forget everything that happened too?
*files a few photos away for safe keeping*
Are any of those photos of Huxley? I'm willing to pay good money for those.
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