Friday, March 24, 2006

Cutting a Promo

Deep resonating voiceover: In a galaxy where anything can happen, a one-man army has come forward to end tyranny and evil wherever it may take shape. From Earth to Hacknor to the ends of the galaxy, this man whose destiny has been foretold, will strive to right what is wrong. And though his home planet will never know it, his heroism has already saved them.

Jon: Hi, I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator; you can catch me every week in the Intergalactic Gladiating Federation --

Director: Cut, cut, it's not “Federation,” it’s “Entertainment” now.

Jon: Right, right, I knew that. I can’t believe that I messed that up.

Director: Take it from the top.

Voiceover: In a galaxy where anything can happen, a one-man army has come forward to end tyranny and evil wherever it may take shape. From Earth to Hacknor to the ends of the galaxy, this man whose destiny has been foretold, will strive to right what is wrong. And though his home planet will never know it, his heroism has already saved them.

Jon: Hi, I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator; you can catch me every week in the Intergalactic Gladiating Entertainment. Also, don’t forget to watch me on Big Brother, ngg heh heh hehe heh.

Director: Cut. What are you laughing for?

Jon: Oh, sorry, I just thought of something really funny that happened at Big Brother. Fluke was sneezing and he accidentally knocked over Noel’s –

Director: I don’t want to hear it. I’m sure it was great but let’s just get through the promo, OK?

Jon: OK.

Director: Action.

Voiceover: In a galaxy where anything can happen, a one-man army has come forward to end tyranny and evil wherever it may take shape. From Earth to Hacknor to the ends of the galaxy, this man whose destiny has been foretold, will strive to right what is wrong. And though his home planet will never know it, his heroism has already saved them.

Jon: Hi, I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. You can catch me every week in the Intergalactic Gladiating Entertainment. Also, don’t forget to watch me on Big Brother: Naboo.

Director: Cut, cut.

Jon: What was it this time?

Director: It wasn’t you , Jon. There was some kind of noise going on in the background.

Engineer: We got it, a data tape unspooled. Sound checks good now.

Director: Thank you. Action.

Voiceover: In a galaxy where anything can happen, a one-man army has come forward to end tyranny and evil wherever it may take shape. From Earth to Hacknor to the ends of the galaxy, this man whose destiny has been foretold, will strive to right what is wrong. And though his home plant will never know it, his heroism has already saved them.

Jon: Hi, I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. You can catch me every week in the Intergalactic Gladiating Entertainment. Also, don’t forget to watch me on Big Brother: Naboo.

Director: Cut.

Jon: What?

Director: Voiceover, did you say “plant” instead of “planet?”

Voiceover: I am sure that I said planet.

Director: I could swear that I heard plant.

Voiceover: I am a professional, I wouldn’t make some mistake like that.

Director: Sound, can you replay that last bit?

Engineer: Standby.

Voiceover: -- though his home plant will never know –

Voiceover: Well I’ll be. Sorry. Won’t happen again.


Director: From the top. Action.

Voiceover: In a galaxy where anything can happen, a one-man army has come forward to end tyranny and evil wherever it may take shape. From Earth to Hacknor to the ends of the galaxy, this man whose destiny has been foretold, will strive to right what is wrong. And though his home planet will never know it, his heroism has already saved them.

Jon: Hi, I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. You can catch me every week in the Intergalactic Gladiating Entertainment. Also, don’t forget to watch me on Big Brother: Naboo every week on the IGE Network.

Voiceover: Big Brother: Naboo brought to you by the Intergalactic Gladiating Network and Buzz Light beer.

Jon: The IGE, where a thumbs up means we’ll fight another day!

Director: Cut and print.

Jon: Was that good?

Director: That sounded great, good job everybody. Sound, can you play that back?

Engineer: Standby.

Voiceover: In a galaxy where anything can happen, a one-man army has come forward to end tyranny and evil wherever it may take shape. From Earth to Hacknor to the ends of the galaxy, this man whose destiny has been foretold, will strive to right what is wrong. And though his home planet will never know it, his heroism has already saved them.

Jon: Hi, I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. You can catch me every week in the Intergalacti—eeeeeegggghhhhh.

Voiceover: Big Brother: Naboo brought to you by the thrum thrum thrum.

Director: What was that?

Engineer: I don’t know. Everything looks fine on the board.

Director: (Sigh) Alright. One more time, from the top. Action.

Voiceover: In a galaxy where anything can happen, a one-man army has come forward to end tyranny and evil wherever it may take shape. From Earth to Hacknor to the ends of the galaxy, this man whose destiny has been foretold, will strive to right what is wrong. And though his home planet will never know it, his heroism has already saved them.

Jon: Hi, I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. You can catch me every week in the Intergalactic Gladiating Entertainment. Also, don’t forget to watch me on Big Brother: Naboo every week on the IGE Network.

Voiceover: Big Brother: Naboo brought to you by the Intergalactic Gladiating Network and Buzz Light beer.

Jon: The IGE, where a thumbs up means we’ll fight another day!

Director: Cut. Print. Sound?

Engineer: Standby. Here’s the playback.

Voiceover: In a galaxy where anything can happen, a one-man army has come forward to end tyranny and evil wherever it may take shape. From Earth to Hacknor to the ends of the galaxy, this man whose destiny has been foretold, will strive to right what is wrong. And though his home planet will never know it, his heroism has already saved them.

Jon: Hi, I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. You can catch me every week in the Intergalactic Gladiating Entertainment. Also, don’t forget to watch me on Big Brother: Naboo every week on the IGE Network.

Voiceover: Big Brother: Naboo brought to you by the Intergalactic Gladiating Network and Buzz Light beer.

Jon: The IGE, where a thumbs up means we’ll fight another day!

Director: That sounded good.

Jon: I thought so.

Voiceover: Excellent.

Director: OK, that’s lunch everybody.

11 comments:

Jango Fett said...

Thats on big Promo. I have to do this next week to sell Jango ADE.

Professor Xavier said...

As painful as that must have been, it's still not quite as bad as a book signing. I don't know if you've ever had to do one of those Jon but it is just horrible. All these over-weight unwashed fan boys want to keep shaking your hand and won't stop asking innane questions about Wolverine. What's he really like? What kind of chewing gum does he like? Uggh.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

At least you didn't have George Cloney stepping all over you lines in a training video. I learnd those lines backwards and forwards, only to be overshadowed by "Look Sir, Droids!" Damm him Damm haim.

Jawa Juice said...

I hope you got a year’s supply of Buzz Light Beer for that also.



Hey, Professor X….what type of chewing gum does Wolverine like?

Vegeta said...

Has Wolverine ever calmed down from the gum I gave him that time? Who new Highly caffinated gum would have him climbing th walls. literally. Bwhahahahahahahahah!

So Buzz finally made light beer. I have to try some.

Professor Xavier said...

Jawajuice, he's go through three or four packs of Hubba Bubba a day. It can get pretty messy but at least he's not chewing tabacco anymore.

Private Hudson said...

That's good, 'cuz if he pops a bubble on his sideburns, he can just pull it right off.

Anonymous said...

Sold out ta the Commercial machine did ya !!

Well I think its absolutely disgracefull that you would stoop so low as to permit yer face to push commercial products.

I mean , I dont understand why they chose you instead of m....er...er, like I said its disgracefull !!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm sure the director has got a headache from doing that.

Anonymous said...

I hate promos...
Next time I have to do one I will call on you :P

Anonymous said...

I would like to exchange links with your site joninterglad.blogspot.com
Is this possible?