Monday, September 18, 2006

Wow, too much hot sauce.

Just a general warning to all of you people out there. Eating too much super hot hot sauce sure does sound like fun, but there are consequences.

Yes, thousands of people each year suffer from the ill effects of eating too much hot sauce.

I know you're thinking "I'm just one man or woman (or whatever), what can I do to help?"

It's simple, really. Just stay away from the stuff that will burn your butt. A flaming sphincter is no fun for anyone, especially the person who has it.

If you find yourself in a situation where you did eat too much hot sauce and your butt is on fire, please remain calm and do the following:

Sit on a block of ice right away. If a block of ice is not available, then use snow or very cold water.

If on fire, take off your pants and roll around, the icy snow will cool your dermis in all needed areas.

So remember:

1. Don't eat too much hot sauce with your food.

2. If you do and your pants become engulfed in flames, do not panic; just find a block of ice or some snow to roll around in.

This has been a public service message brought to you by the Not-Hot Foods Alliance and the Bland Corporation. Thank you.


Professor Xavier said...

I just realized what your blog has been missing all these years - pictures of chicks in thongs. Here's to the start of a new trend!

Wedge Antillies said...

Tell me about it! That is why we have fire supressent systems in the cockpits of ths X-wing. What we thought was sabotage was actually the ship's cook putting Nubian peppers in the chili.

Thanks for the good advice, Jon.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I think you have a valid point there, Professor. This blog needs more hot apples!

Gyrobo said...

I'd never eat hot sauce without a license. Also, I too have noticed Fluke's blog has become... the vanished.

And his profile is hidden. Something must have made him suddenly hate blogging.

George Lucas must have gotten to him...

Darth Nepharia said...

Um, I like spicy food. Never had an incident of which you speak though. Must just be the weak nature of your back-sides...or a lack of conditioning.

And another thought....why not include pictures of hot guys in thongs for your female readers?

Skywalker said...

I fully agree with you on this. Where is the snow when you need it?

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

I can't eat anything with hot sause. Burning my lips off is not the way I like to eat. LMAO!

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Oh the "Flaming Fanny" or "Pyrotechnic Poots" are a danger to all the beings in the known universe.

Speaking of Burning Buttocks, where is Fluke?