Monday, September 25, 2006

The Assault on Onslaught

I was sitting in the dugout, just out of Onslaught’s view. I was waiting for my chance to strike. I owed him big time for what he did last week. Normally, I keep a sense of humor about me when I’m in a tough situation; it helps ease tension and also keeps my mind working until I find a solution to whatever problem I am encountering. Today is an exception. Today I will not be making with the yucks.

My jaws were growing sore from clenching my teeth; I hadn’t even realized that I was grinding them like that. I was getting antsy until it was my time to jump in. Some of the stronger heroes were wearing him down first, but then I heard Fred the Fox give me the signal. Let me tell you, in all of my years I never would have thought that I’d ever take orders from a talking fox.

I cupped my hand to my mouth and let out a long howl. Any dog within earshot would come running. Having a pack of dogs attacking and running around Onslaught would distract him and allow the heroes to take him down. As you know, in situations like this, dogs are never injured. They always outrun the fireballs and dodge train wrecks and stuff.

A tan mutt yipped and hopped up and down in front of me.

“Hey poochie!” I said to the hound. “Where’s all your friends?”

The dog barked and looked up at me with his tongue hanging out.

“What do you mean ‘you’re it?’” I asked. “I called all the dogs in the area. There should be dozens of them.”

The dog hopped up on his hind legs, spun around, and barked some more.

“They’re busy? Oh for the love of -- This is important! I need everyone’s help to stop Onslaught!”

The dog looked at me, twisted his neck to one side, and then barked again.

“Aww jeez,” I rubbed my face. “Well I’m not sending you out there. You’re all by yourself, he’ll squash you.”

The dog growled and spun around and barked.

“No no,” I answered. “It’s just too dangerous.”

The dog looked at me, then looked at the carnage out on the ball field, then looked at me again.

“I’m serious. Don’t do it.”

The dog tore off towards the villain, barking and growling. Onslaught looked down at the mutt, paused for just a moment, then booted him over my head and into the stands. I peered out from my vantage point and saw him laying there with a sad dog look.

“Are you OK?”

He whimpered back at me.

OK. Dog’s fine and it’s showtime. Hey that rhymes! So does rhyme! OK, OK, I’m getting distracted; it’s my turn to take a shot at that scarlet and maroon behemoth. I ran out of the dugout towards Onslaught. I fired Betsy from my right hand and my Wristcomm was strapped to my left. From it, I fired the sonic blasts at him.

Wolverine, Magdalena, Iceman, and Vegetta working together had him reeling. They also got his helmet off. Without that protection, enough exposure to my sonic attack should bring him down.

Onslaught howled, he had Mags in his clutches and was squeezing her with tremendous force. I fired again and the laser bolts slapped his face.

“AH THAT STINGS!” he howled. He tossed Mags to the side and started towards me. I kept shooting him with my blaster pistol as well as hitting him with the sonic assault, but he pressed forward towards me.

“Uh, little help here,” I said out loud.

The brutish villain refused to stop. I kept hitting him and hitting him, but he just wouldn’t stop.

“Uh, anyone?” I said. “Little help!”

Howling in rage, Onslaught pulled his giant fist back.


Kicking his howl up a notch, he hurled his giant armored ham of a fist at me.


It felt like my insides were being torn around. I felt sick as my stomach did somersaults inside my guts. My vision snapped to, though and I realized that I was back in the dugout and Onslaught never did hit me. Captain Koma teleported me away at the last possible second. I looked across the field at Onslaught. He was yelling, of course.


With that, Onslaught’s armor cracked away and he fell first to his knees, then flat on his face. Gaia and Fred stood over his crumpled form. I could have sworn that I heard the fox say “Game over.”


Karnov said...


Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

I have to say I'm glad Proffessor is back, and good job Jon.

Darth Nepharia said...

Wow, wish I could have been there to see it. Groovy.

Magdalena said...

yes good job to you and the pooch (I wonder if the dogs arte fighting werewolves.....???)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

What a great fight! Well done, Jon!

Professor Xavier said...

If there's one thing I've noticed about these sort of life and death struggles over the years, it's that everything really important always happens at the last possible second.

And I'm glad that brave little pooch is ok. I'll have to see if we can't find some room for him at the school.