Jo Jo the Movie Focus Group

We showed a screening of the Jo Jo movie to a select and diverse group of volunteers. Sinew Nu, Jo Jo Sr. and I watched their reactions to the movie. After the showing, the three of us spoke with the group to get their reactions.



"OK people," said Sinew Nu. "What do you think of the basic story that you just saw?"

"A great story about a Monkeyboy. Howya like dem apples?" said Popo the Monkeyboy.

"I liked it," said HelmeTess, Acolyte to the goddess of Helmets.

"That movie was really swell! I like when they flew to the moon!" said Astromite.
"The Gaijun Monkeyboy was very heroic. Him saving that city from a giant monster was very exciting," said Captain Shogun.

"It sucked," said Goth Girl.

"Hmmm, OK," said Sinew Nu. "What scene really grabbed you?"
"The first time he said his catchphrase, that really cracked me up. Howya like dem apples?" said Popo.
"Like I said, when he defended Japan from the sludge monster. Also, that chase scene. Very exciting," said Captain Shogun.
"When Jo Jo slipped on that banana peel, that was so funny! I also liked when Jo Jo was on that bike with Elliot and they flew in front of the moon," said Astromite.
"Seeing cameos of well-known characters was quite interesting," said Gyrobo.
"Like cookies," said Cookie Monster.
"When Jo Jo sacrificed himself at the end, that was really sad. I almost cried a little," said Elixer.
"It sucked," said Goth Girl.

"Interesting," Sinew Nu looked down at his notes. "OK, what part of it didn't work for you? If you could change one part, what would it be?"
"More cookies!" said Cookie Monster.
"I loved every single pin-it minute innit. Howya like dem apples?" said Popo.
"I might have included a task from the Goddess of Helmets. He could then earn a reward from her -- a helmet!" said HelmeTess.
"That movie was swell! I wouldn't change a thing!" said Astromite.
"Did he like bananas? That song where he sang about all the banana-related products seemed a little subtle," said Captain Shogun.
"If I were you, I'd take all the film and burn it. That movie was la-ame. It sucked," said Goth Girl.
"Excellent," smiled Sinew Nu. "Gentlemen, I think we have ourselves a hit."

"Yippee yo yahoo-ieee ieee iee!" exclaimed Jo Jo Sr.

"What about what that Goth Girl was saying?" I asked. "Don't you think she made a valid point?"

"What, about it 'sucking?'" he chuckled. "What does she know? She's just a grumpy teenager. She's probably a mutant or something, they always have issues."
"Hey!" said Elixer.

Jo Jo's Early Work

Interestingly enough, as people have begun to work on the Jo Jo the Monkeyboy movie, someone found something that he did early in his career. It was a safety film. Here take a look at it:

Safety Film Presentations Presents

A Safety Film Presentation

Germs and You, The Deadly Killer!


This is Timmy.

Timmy and his best friend Jo Jo love playing wholesome outdoor activities.



Like kicking balls...



Sliding down poles...



And bumping each other in the rears...

After such a fun day of playing outside with his best bud Jo Jo, Little Timmy runs home.

"Gee, mom, I sure am hungry. can I have a snack?"


"Not so fast, young man," says Timmy's mom.

"What's the matter?" asks Little Timmy.

"You haven't washed your hands yet, that's what." answers his mom.

"Aww mom, washing hands is for suckers!" complains Timmy.

"You may think so, but it's still important to do it," replies his mom. "There are germs all over your hands!"


"Germs? What are those?"


"I'll show you, Jimmy!" Answers his mom excitedly. "We can use my new X-Ray Microscope to look at your hands."


Timmy and his mom take a look at his hands.

"Gosh, mom," says Timmy. "What are those little guys?"

"Those are germs, young man," says his mom. "And those germs are just waiting for the opportunity to hurt you. Just like commies."

"Gee whiz mom, I don't want these germs all over my hands. What do I do?"

"Well Tommy, you need to wash your hands using plenty of warm soap and water, that's what you need to do."


"Then I'll do just that, and right away!" Timmy yells excitedly.

So Timmy goes to the bathroom and washes his hands using plenty of soap and water.


"Die germs! Die!" yells Timmy excitedly.

Ha ha ha, that Timmy.

After Timmy is finished thoroughly washing his hands with warm soap and water, he returns to the kitchen for a snack.

"Gee mom, I'm glad you told me about germs and I washed my hands using warm soap and water real good! Can I have a cookie now?"

"You sure can!" answers his mom.


Little Timmy is very excited about his snack.

"Wow mom! That's the greatest cookie ever! Can I wash it down with a sarsaparilla?"

"Now Timmy, you don't want to spoil you appetite for dinner, now do you? You can have a nice glass of milk instead."

"Aw mom..."

The End...

99. INT. CHURCH - DAYTIME

At the Triple Rock Church.

MC: And now, this weeks sermon is from our beloved the Reverend Cleophis James.

REV: And now people. And now people. When I woke up this morning, I heard a disturbing sound. I said, when I woke up this morning I heard a disturbing sound. What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a thousand lost souls. And I'm talking about the souls of all the men and women, departed from this life. Wait a minute, the Lord says the souls of us here on earth is, secret of divine life, they'll not find. Because it's too late... too late yeah, too late for them to ever see again, the light they once chose not to follow, don't be lost when the time comes. For the day of the Lord cometh, out of deep in the night.
Amen. Amen.

Song - The Old Landmark (congregation singing and dancing).

ELWOOD: Jo Jo, you alright?

[Ray of sunlight shines through the church onto Jo Jo.]

JO JO: The band.. (louder) The band..
REV: Do you see the light?
JO JO: (louder) The band!
REV: Do you see the light?
ELWOOD: What light?
REV: Have you seen the light?
JO JO: Yes, Yes! Cheesy J. goooly ding banana crunch, I have seen the light!

[Jo Jo starts dancing with the others.]

JO JO: The band Elwood. The band!
ELWOOD: The band? ... The band. The band? The band!
REV: Praise God.
ELWOOD: And God bless the United States of America.
Jo Jo and Elwood, in their car.
Song - Soothe me (In the background.)

JO JO: We'll put the band back together, do a few gigs, we get some bread. Bang! Five thousand bucks.
ELWOOD: Yeah, well, getting the band back together might not be that easy.
JO JO: What're you talking about?
ELWOOD: They split, they all took straight jobs.
JO JO: Yeah so you know where they are. You said you were gonna keep in touch with them
ELWOOD: I got a coupla leads, a few phone numbers, but I mean, how many of them visited or even wrote you huh?
JO JO: They're not the kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, I was inside, you were s'posed to keep in touch with the band. I kept asking you if we were gonna play again.
ELWOOD: Well, what was I gonna do? Take away you're only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of ballooeyshalloeying you, okay?
JO JO: You lied to me.
ELWOOD: It wasn't lies, it was just balloeyshalloey.


[Jo Jo and Elwood are in the car, and go through a yellow traffic light. Police lights flash in the rear view mirror.]

ELWOOD: Snooker shangle shoop!
JO JO: What?
ELWOOD: Rollers.
JO JO: No?
ELWOOD: Yeah.
JO JO: Shangle snooker shoop.

[Elwood pulls over as directed and an officer approaches the car.]

ELWOOD: What? What did I do?
OFFICER DANIEL: You failed to stop at a red signal.
ELWOOD: The light was yellow sir.
OFFICER DANIEL: May I see your license please?

[He takes the license back to the squad car.]

JO JO: Goobergrape!
ELWOOD: Man I haven't been pulled over in six months. I bet those cops have got SCMODS.
JO JO: SCMODS?
ELWOOD: State, County, Municipal, Offender, Data, System.

[The two officers return to Jo Jo and Elwood's car.]

OFFICER DANIEL: Elwood, we show your license currently under suspension. Step out of the car please.

[Elwood starts the car and drives off. The officers run back to their car and follow.]

JO JO: First you trade the Caddilac for a microphone, then you lie to me about the band, now you're gonna put me right back in the joint.
ELWOOD: They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.
JO JO: Elwood!
OFFICER MOUNT:(into CB) We are in high speed pursuit northbound on Cortlen Avenue. Black and white 1974 Dodge sedan with Illinios plates. Request assistance.

93. INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING

Honey Bunny freaks out, waving her gun in Jo Jo's direction.

HONEY BUNNY
Let him go! Let him go! I'll blow
your fuzzy head off! I'll kill
ya! I'll kill ya! You're gonna
die, you're gonna forkin’ die bad!

JO JO
(to Pumpkin)
Tell that bitch to be cool! Say,
baby be cool! Say, baby be cool!

PUMPKIN
Chill out, honey!

HONEY BUNNY
Let him go!

JO JO
(softly)
Tell her it's gonna be okay.

PUMPKIN
I'm gonna be okay.

JO JO
Promise her.

PUMPKIN
I promise.

JO JO
Tell her to chill.

PUMPKIN
Just chill out.

JO JO
What's her name?

PUMPKIN
Yolanda.

Whenever Jo Jo talks to Yolanda, he never looks at her, only at Pumpkin.

JO JO
(to Yolanda)
So, we cool Yolanda? We ain't
gonna do anything stupid, are we?

YOLANDA
(crying)
Don't you hurt him.

JO JO
Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're
gonna be like three Fonzies. And
what' Fonzie like?

No answer,

JO JO
C'mon Yolanda, what's Fonzie like?

YOLANDA
(through tears, unsure)
He's cool?

JO JO
Correct-amundo! And that's what
we're gonna be, we're gonna be
cool.
(to Pumpkin)
Now Ringo, I'm gonna count to three
and I want you to let go your gun
and lay your palms flat on the
table. But when you do it, do it
cool. Ready?

Pumpkin looks at him.

JO JO
One...two...three.

Pumpkin lets go of his gun and places both hands on the table.
Yolanda can't stand it anymore.

YOLANDA
Okay, now let him go!

JO JO
Yolanda, I thought you were gonna
be cool. When you yell at me, it
makes me nervous. When I get
nervous, I get scared. And when
monkeybuddies get scared, that's
when monkeybuddies get accidentally
shot.

YOLANDA
(more conversational)
Just know: you hurt him, you die.

JO JO
That seems to be the situation.
Now I don't want that and you don't
want that and Ringo here don't want
that. So let's see what we can do.
(to Ringo)
Now this is the situation.
Normally both of your hoo hoo ha hahs would
be dead as funky fried chicken.
But you happened to pull this stuff
while I'm in a transitional period.
I don't wanna kill ya, I want to
help ya. But I'm afraid I can't
give you the case. It don't belong
to me. Besides, I went through too
much stuff this morning on account
of this case to just hand it over
to your hi-ni.

VINCENT (OS)
What the foo foo’s goin' on here?

Yolanda WHIPS her gun toward the stranger.

VINCENT, by the bathroom, has his gun out, dead-aimed at
Yolanda.

JO JO
It's cool, Vincent! It's cool!
Don't do a googlydoogly thing. Yolanda,
it's cool baby, nothin's changed.
We're still just talkin',
(to Pumpkin)
Tell her we're still cool.

PUMPKIN
It's cool, Honey Bunny, we're still
cool.

VINCENT
(gun raised)
What the Yoohoo’s goin' on, Jo Jo?

JO JO
Nothin' I can't handle. I want you
to just hang back and don't do shoopy
unless it's absolutely necessary.

VINCENT
Check.

JO JO
Yolanda, how we doin, baby?

YOLANDA
I gotta go pee! I want to go home.

JO JO
Just hang in there, baby, you're
doing' great, Ringo's proud of you
and so am I. It's almost over,
(to Pumpkin)
Now I want you to go in that bag
and find my wallet.

PUMPKIN
Which one is it?

JO JO
It's the one that says Bad
Bananajamma on it.

Pumpkin looks in the bag and -- sure enough -- there's a
wallet with "Bad Bananajamma" embroidered on it.

JO JO
That's my bad bananajamma. Now
open it up and take out the cash.
How much is there?

PUMPKIN
About fifteen hundred dollars.

JO JO
Put it in your pocket, it's yours.
Now with the rest of them wallets
and the register, that makes this a
pretty successful little score.

17. INT. HORIZON AMPITHEATER- EVENING

Announcer
Introducing, In this corner, from planet 18M. The gladiator with the speed and the strength of a robot and the cunning and ferocity of a Minotaur. I bring you the Megataur!

[Megataur enters the arena.]

Megataur
I, Megataur, will crush these pathetic fleshlings!

[Crowd boos.]

Announcer
In this corner, The Monkeyboy that you know and love... Jo Jo!

[Crowd Cheers.]

Announcer
And with Jo Jo, his hero, the one and only..... Jon!!

[Crowd goes silent.]

Jo Jo
I'll take 'em high, and you take 'em low. Howya doin' buaaauuuuuthhhh?

[Crowd laughs.]

Jon
I don't know, Jo Jo. Do you think it's gonna work?

Jo Jo
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

[Megatuar advances on the duo. Jo Jo dodges the attack, but Jon cannot escape Megataur's lunge. Megataur throws Jon across the arena.]

Jon
Ooof. Hey that smarts!

[Jon snaps to his feet and dodges the attack while trying to regain his senses. Jo Jo selflessly puts himself in between Megataur and Jon.]

Jo Jo
Ooooh, now you gonna pay! I'm gonna gets you but good!

[Megatuar kicks Jo Jo across the arena.]

Jo Jo
YEEEEEEEEEE-YOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

[Megataur gloats.]

Megataur
Megataur superior, Monkeyboy inferior!

[Jon and Jo Jo regroup.]

Jo Jo
I've got a swell idea, Johnny Jon Jon!

Jon
What is it, Jo Jo? Please tell me!

Jo Jo
Throw me at 'im! Fastball Special!

Jon
Uh, I don't know... Think it'll work?

Jo Jo
Trust me, I saw it on a cartoon once!

[Jon grabs Jo Jo's legs and spins him around and around. Jo Jo wails as the velocity increases. With a final spin, Jon releases the comedy relief sidekick at the Megataur's legs. The robotic monster, not calculating the attack in time, stumbles over the selfless missile. A flying kick from Jon knocks the machine over and several hacks into the armor later with a Vibro Ax, the Megataur's servos are disengaged.]

Announcer
The winner, Jon!

Jon
Thanks, Jo Jo. I couldn't've done it without you!

Jo Jo
All in a days work, chummmmmmmmmmm.

I looked up from the script and bored my eyes into J'onn Sinew Nu's.

"See?" I said.

"What?" he asked.

Jo Jo the Movie?

I stormed into J'onn Sinew Nu's office clutching the script.

“What kind of crap is this?” I demanded.

“Jon, my boy,” Sinew Nu lit up a fat cigar. “I think that you fail to see the big picture.

“No, I see the big picture alright,” I answered. “I see a script for a very bad movie. I see a movie that’s going to bomb completely and horribly. I see a very bad idea right here.”

“Jon, let me ask you a question,” Sinew Nu took a puff. “How many movies have you produced?”

“Well, none,” I conceded.

“See,” Sinew Nu tried to sound like he knew everything about everything. “Then you don’t know what sells. I, on the other hand, am the Senior Vice President of Marketing and Talent Coordination for the largest intergalactic gladiating federation in the galaxy. I think I know a little something about talent.”

“OK, then,” I said. “How many movies have you produced?”

“Me, personally? None. But I’ve been involved with a lot of projects,” he tugged the lapels of his coat. “A lot of projects in the entertainment industry and it’s time that the Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment and Sinewco bankrolls a film like this.”

“Uh huh,” I stared at him blankly. I can’t believe that this is happening. Check that, with Sinew Nu involved, I can very much believe something like this is happening.

“I can see it now! Sinewco and IGE present: Jo Jo: Portrait of a Sidekick Monkeyboy! That’s why I sent Jo Jo to go see you with the script,” Sinew Nu added.

“You realize that he stalked me for a week before he actually showed it to me?” I countered. “Why would he do that?”

“I’m sure he was just real shy,” Sinew Nu answered. “You are, after all, his son’s former hero.”

“But what if I had shot him?”

“Oh he’d be fine,” Sinew Nu dismissed the thought with a wave. “Those Monkeyboys are a resilient lot.”

“Yeah, but see, I’m in the middle of Last Gladiator Standing,” I said. “How am I supposed to have time to do all of this?”

“That’s why I want you to do it!” Sinewco avoided my actual question. “You’re in the middle of the sidekick challenge, Jo Jo Jr. was a sidekick, Jo Jo Sr. is a consultant for the Intergalactic Sidekickery Phorce right here on Hacknor. We use their sidekicks and in turn, they write a movie for us to produce. It’s what we call synergy here in the corporate world.”

“Synergy?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Synergy,” he repeated.

“Synergy,” I harrumphed.

“Synergy!” he said once again, pumping a lot of excitement into the word.

“Fine,” if he says that word one more time, I may have to pull his ears off. “Have you actually read the script, though?”

“Well…. I saw a part of it,” Sinew Nu tried to dance around the subject. “I’m a very busy man.”

I opened up the script and I flipped through looking for a particular scene.

What scene is Jon looking for? Tune in tomorow!

What fate worse than death?

I stood there looking at my allegedly former (alleged) comedy-relief sidekick.

I looked at him again; he stood there grinning like some kind of imbecile. Yes, I’d remember that grin anywhere. He wasn’t Jo Jo, though.

“You’re not Jo Jo,” I told the Monkeyboy.

“Of course I am, buddy buck-o bunny buddy bones,” he laughed.

“Nope,” I replied. “You’re not Jo Jo. Believe me, I can tell. Who are you? Mojo?”

“No no no no no. Nuh uh, nope, no sir, negative negatory nugatory, sha na na na na na,” he hopped up and down, then he stopped and looked at me with an eye of seriousness. “I am Jo Jo the Monkeyboy,” he said in a faux upper class accent.

“Sorry,” I shook my head. “I don’t buy it.”

“Well you should, sonny bunny funny money,” he laughed. “I am Jo Jo the Monkeyboy Senior!”

I think things just went from bad to worse.

“Jo Jo Senior?” I asked. “That makes my former sidekick—”

“Jo Jo Jr.” Jo Jo smiled. “Little Joey Jo Jo Jr. was my son!”

Maybe there’s a hole somewhere that I could just stick my head in for a few years.

“So why are you following me around like this?” I asked. “Are you hunting me? Is this about revenge?”

“No no no, pally-o!” he howled. “Why would I want revenge when my boy died ‘kicking for one of the greatest heroes this galaxy has ever known. Watching his face disintegrate over and over was a true honor.”

“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say greatest,” I chuckled self-consciously. “But I – wait a minute, you weren’t even at Jo Jo (ugh) Jr’s funeral. Why didn’t you go to your own son’s funeral?”

“Oh that?” Jo Jo shuffled his foot and shoved his hands into what I can only assume were pockets. “Well, I was stuck in a time-space loop.”

“You were stuck in a time-space loop?” I asked incredulously.

“Well, I got better,” he conceded.

I’m smart enough to not even touch that with a ten-foot pole.

“OK, so you’ve been following me around, you don’t want revenge,” I said. “What is it that you want? I don’t want another sidekick.”

“No no no no,” Jo Jo shook his head. “I don’t want to be your sidekick; I’m long past my ‘kicking prime. But I do want your help.”

“Want my help? With what?”

From out of nowhere, Jo Jo Sr. pulled out a book.

“It’s a movie script!” he said excitedly. “J’onn Sinew Nu said you’d help me with it!”

“Sinew Nu?” I let out a sigh. “OK, OK, let me see this thing.”

“I’ll give you a consultant credit!” he handed it over to me while hopping up and down. “Maybe even co-writer! Maybe even co-producer!”

I took a look at the script. I read the title.

“Jo Jo: Portrait of a Sidekick Monkeyboy.”

Aha!

I know I'm being followed, but now I'm ready to turn the tables on my stalker.




See, I let him follow me into a quiet spot over here, then quick I turn around.








What?




Wait a minute.




"Take off the glasses," I growled at him.








"Jo Jo?"

"Howya doin' be-ahhhhhhsssss?" he grinned like an imbicilic fool.

But I thought that he was dead.

While I'm busy trying to wrap my mind around this plot development, you should watch this video of two kids doing the theme to Mortal Kombat. Not only has this cracked me up like nothing else, I give these kids props for having a passing resemblance to Johnny and Dee Dee Ramone.

Shootin' at the walls of heartache, bang bang, I am a warrior

To uncover my stalker, I am analyzing the photos and I think that I'm onto something. I am just like Batman running the photos through my Batcomputer, except without the Batcomputer. I guess I don't have the cool car or the cave or the millions of dollars, either. Other than that, I'm just like the Darknight Detective without the cowl.


At Wrigley Field. Notice the figure in the red circle.


At Oak Street Beach. Again, note the figure circled.


At the bar. I circled the figure in red once again.


Outside the bar. He's there, too.


Downtown Chicago. There he is behind that guy. He's even waving for some reason... that doesn't see very sneaky.


Finally, at the promenade. I have almost a full shot of him here. Strangely enough, he appears to have some sort of morphing abilities or something.

I think that I'm very, very close to figuring out this mystery. Hopefully, I'll figure this out real quick because, really, how long is this going to draw out?

And then when I hash this all out, there's going to be trouble because I am a warrior, baby.

My Inner Hero - Warrior!

I'm courageous, straightforward, and charismatic. I'm a born leader, but I'm also not afraid to face danger on my own. Nothing stands between me and victory... nothing that lives to tell the tale, anyway. If you need someone to charge into battle for you, call on me.



How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

Credit where credit is due, I got this from Turbo Slut

Still being followed...

Yep, I'm still being followed. This guy's like Zelig, though, he just blends in wherever he is.





Feh. I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out after a couple beers.

You Are Samuel Adams

You're fairly easy to please when it comes to beer - as long as it's not too cheap. You tend to change favorite beers frequently, and you're the type most likely to take a "beers of the world" tour. When you get drunk, you're fearless. You lose all your inhibitions. You're just as likely to party with a group of strangers as you are to wake up in a very foreign place.

What's Your Beer Personality?

Still being followed

Someone is following me, I am sure of it. Every time I turn around, I feel like I am being watched. I just don't see who it is, though. Whoever is following me is doing a great job of it.


Someone is following me in downtown Chicago.


I am also being followed at Oak Street Beach.


And I am being followed at Wrigley Field.

But I just can't tell who it is. I am going to have to do something about this. The hunter needs to become the hunted.


Meanwhile, I've been working on my battlecry, compliments of Local Henchman. What do you think?

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Rampaging out of the plains, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a studded crowbar, cometh Jon The Intergalactic Gladiator! And he gives a low bellow: "I'm going to beat you beyond capacity, and then some!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Stalked?

Yep, Last Gladiator Standing is going very well. So well, in fact, that if I were wont to do it, I would light up and smoke a big fat cigar and smoke it in celebration.

Still, something just doesn't feel right. It's nothing concrete; I can't put my finger on it, but there seems to be something wrong.

I looked around, Hudson was standing over a catering table, eating a donut and chatting up some of the crew for the show. Some of the contestants were relaxing in front of the camera or giving voiceovers for the sound guys. J'onn Sinew Nu, being the guy who actually would stand around smoking a stogie, was doing just that, beaming with pride at the hard work everyone else was doing.

I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, or at least what passes for ordinary on Hacknor, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched. Looking around suspiciously, I decided to make a break for it. I casually walked up to my ship, the Danger Sled and made it look like I was getting into it.

Instead, I flew off on a hovercycle and sent my ship into orbit with my Wristcomm. I raced towards Fire Island Echo (Actually an isthmus) and maneuvered into the parking lot of the promenade. Keeping a sharp eye out, I made my way to the top level, then looked around trying to see anyone who might be following me.



I don't see anybody, though. What's going on here, anyway?

Oh yeah, speaking of donut:

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image. On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex. You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time. Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

Separated at Birth II, Son of Separated at Birth

Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages and sentient beings across the blogosphere, prepare to be astounded once again! When last we brought you Separated at Birth, we barely whetted your appetite for what was in store. Now sit back as our powerful super computers housed within space age polymers bring you separated at Birth II, Son of Separated at Birth.


Earl Hickey and H.I. McDunnough are clearly separated at birth.


Adam Duritz and Sideshow Bob's hair are separated at birth.


Astounded yet? Then I have another cheap hair joke: Adam Duritz, Sideshow Bob and Justin Guarini's hair, separated at birth.


Is your mortal mind screaming for mercy yet? No? Then how about Local Henchman and Moltar separated at birth?


In the last separated at Birth, we gave you Sgt. Slaughter and Jay Leno. Now we have an even closer sibling convergence! Taylor Hicks and Jay Leno separated at birth.


Remember folks, these matchups are being done on super computers so powerful that it would make your eVectra 386 look like a TRS80! Our super computers now present Avril Lavigne and Axl Rose. Axl Rose and Avril Lavigne are separated at birth!


Are you ready for the coup de grace? The coup de tat? The Coup DeVille? Then we are now proud to present to you Howard Stern, Joey Ramone, and Chris Robinson. That's right, separated at birth.

Thank you everybody for enjoying Separated at Birth II, Son of Separated at Birth. I hope that I did not astound and/or amaze you too much. We will now use our super computers to beat a penguin at chess!