Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Jo Jo the Movie?

I stormed into J'onn Sinew Nu's office clutching the script.

“What kind of crap is this?” I demanded.

“Jon, my boy,” Sinew Nu lit up a fat cigar. “I think that you fail to see the big picture.

“No, I see the big picture alright,” I answered. “I see a script for a very bad movie. I see a movie that’s going to bomb completely and horribly. I see a very bad idea right here.”

“Jon, let me ask you a question,” Sinew Nu took a puff. “How many movies have you produced?”

“Well, none,” I conceded.

“See,” Sinew Nu tried to sound like he knew everything about everything. “Then you don’t know what sells. I, on the other hand, am the Senior Vice President of Marketing and Talent Coordination for the largest intergalactic gladiating federation in the galaxy. I think I know a little something about talent.”

“OK, then,” I said. “How many movies have you produced?”

“Me, personally? None. But I’ve been involved with a lot of projects,” he tugged the lapels of his coat. “A lot of projects in the entertainment industry and it’s time that the Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment and Sinewco bankrolls a film like this.”

“Uh huh,” I stared at him blankly. I can’t believe that this is happening. Check that, with Sinew Nu involved, I can very much believe something like this is happening.

“I can see it now! Sinewco and IGE present: Jo Jo: Portrait of a Sidekick Monkeyboy! That’s why I sent Jo Jo to go see you with the script,” Sinew Nu added.

“You realize that he stalked me for a week before he actually showed it to me?” I countered. “Why would he do that?”

“I’m sure he was just real shy,” Sinew Nu answered. “You are, after all, his son’s former hero.”

“But what if I had shot him?”

“Oh he’d be fine,” Sinew Nu dismissed the thought with a wave. “Those Monkeyboys are a resilient lot.”

“Yeah, but see, I’m in the middle of Last Gladiator Standing,” I said. “How am I supposed to have time to do all of this?”

“That’s why I want you to do it!” Sinewco avoided my actual question. “You’re in the middle of the sidekick challenge, Jo Jo Jr. was a sidekick, Jo Jo Sr. is a consultant for the Intergalactic Sidekickery Phorce right here on Hacknor. We use their sidekicks and in turn, they write a movie for us to produce. It’s what we call synergy here in the corporate world.”

“Synergy?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Synergy,” he repeated.

“Synergy,” I harrumphed.

“Synergy!” he said once again, pumping a lot of excitement into the word.

“Fine,” if he says that word one more time, I may have to pull his ears off. “Have you actually read the script, though?”

“Well…. I saw a part of it,” Sinew Nu tried to dance around the subject. “I’m a very busy man.”

I opened up the script and I flipped through looking for a particular scene.

What scene is Jon looking for? Tune in tomorow!


Local Henchmen 432 said...

How about that scene, where Jo Jo makes out with Hudson's Mom after the senior dance. I love that one.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Yeah, woo. I definietely didn't see that one coming.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I think this movie has Blockbuster written all over it. (Maybe because Jo Jo wrote "Blockbuster" all over the cover). It has a story line of Ishtar, the acting talent of Gigli, the special effects of Howard the Duck, the drama of The Postman or Waterworld, a central character as compelling as the movie Cool As Ice or Spice World.

Blockbuster Baby, Blockbuster.

Unless you screw it up by adding Gungans, Ewoks or making Jo Jo not shoot first. Cuz then it will reek like a Deadpool posting.

Magdalena said...

hmmm sounds like a great movie
I will bring my pillow and blanket

JawaJuice said...

Are you kidding? This movie will rock!
Especially when they prefect Jo-Jo-Vision (c) to go along with it.

Metapirate said...

Yarrr, I know a thing or ten about synergy, combining telekinesis with piracy. Arrrr, a most potent merger!

Behold, the might that is the metapirate!

Professor Xavier said...

Since Deadpool's TV show got cancelled, I've been looking for a new entertainment project. Ask Sinew Nu if there's a part in there for me, would you?

Vegeta said...

A moive I shall be sure not to pay any attenion too

Karnov said...

Synergy? like a +2 on bad movie scripts if you have at least 5 ranks in marketing?