Thursday, June 15, 2006

93. INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING

Banana Pulp Fiction

Honey Bunny freaks out, waving her gun in Jo Jo's direction.

HONEY BUNNY
Let him go! Let him go! I'll blow
your fuzzy head off! I'll kill
ya! I'll kill ya! You're gonna
die, you're gonna forkin’ die bad!

JO JO
(to Pumpkin)
Tell that bitch to be cool! Say,
baby be cool! Say, baby be cool!

PUMPKIN
Chill out, honey!

HONEY BUNNY
Let him go!

JO JO
(softly)
Tell her it's gonna be okay.

PUMPKIN
I'm gonna be okay.

JO JO
Promise her.

PUMPKIN
I promise.

JO JO
Tell her to chill.

PUMPKIN
Just chill out.

JO JO
What's her name?

PUMPKIN
Yolanda.

Whenever Jo Jo talks to Yolanda, he never looks at her, only at Pumpkin.

JO JO
(to Yolanda)
So, we cool Yolanda? We ain't
gonna do anything stupid, are we?

YOLANDA
(crying)
Don't you hurt him.

JO JO
Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're
gonna be like three Fonzies. And
what' Fonzie like?

No answer,

JO JO
C'mon Yolanda, what's Fonzie like?

YOLANDA
(through tears, unsure)
He's cool?

JO JO
Correct-amundo! And that's what
we're gonna be, we're gonna be
cool.
(to Pumpkin)
Now Ringo, I'm gonna count to three
and I want you to let go your gun
and lay your palms flat on the
table. But when you do it, do it
cool. Ready?

Pumpkin looks at him.

JO JO
One...two...three.

Pumpkin lets go of his gun and places both hands on the table.
Yolanda can't stand it anymore.

YOLANDA
Okay, now let him go!

JO JO
Yolanda, I thought you were gonna
be cool. When you yell at me, it
makes me nervous. When I get
nervous, I get scared. And when
monkeybuddies get scared, that's
when monkeybuddies get accidentally
shot.

YOLANDA
(more conversational)
Just know: you hurt him, you die.

JO JO
That seems to be the situation.
Now I don't want that and you don't
want that and Ringo here don't want
that. So let's see what we can do.
(to Ringo)
Now this is the situation.
Normally both of your hoo hoo ha hahs would
be dead as funky fried chicken.
But you happened to pull this stuff
while I'm in a transitional period.
I don't wanna kill ya, I want to
help ya. But I'm afraid I can't
give you the case. It don't belong
to me. Besides, I went through too
much stuff this morning on account
of this case to just hand it over
to your hi-ni.

VINCENT (OS)
What the foo foo’s goin' on here?

Yolanda WHIPS her gun toward the stranger.

VINCENT, by the bathroom, has his gun out, dead-aimed at
Yolanda.

JO JO
It's cool, Vincent! It's cool!
Don't do a googlydoogly thing. Yolanda,
it's cool baby, nothin's changed.
We're still just talkin',
(to Pumpkin)
Tell her we're still cool.

PUMPKIN
It's cool, Honey Bunny, we're still
cool.

VINCENT
(gun raised)
What the Yoohoo’s goin' on, Jo Jo?

JO JO
Nothin' I can't handle. I want you
to just hang back and don't do shoopy
unless it's absolutely necessary.

VINCENT
Check.

JO JO
Yolanda, how we doin, baby?

YOLANDA
I gotta go pee! I want to go home.

JO JO
Just hang in there, baby, you're
doing' great, Ringo's proud of you
and so am I. It's almost over,
(to Pumpkin)
Now I want you to go in that bag
and find my wallet.

PUMPKIN
Which one is it?

JO JO
It's the one that says Bad
Bananajamma on it.

Pumpkin looks in the bag and -- sure enough -- there's a
wallet with "Bad Bananajamma" embroidered on it.

JO JO
That's my bad bananajamma. Now
open it up and take out the cash.
How much is there?

PUMPKIN
About fifteen hundred dollars.

JO JO
Put it in your pocket, it's yours.
Now with the rest of them wallets
and the register, that makes this a
pretty successful little score.

8 comments:

Vegeta said...

I don't know that seems familar somehow

Vegeta said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gyrobo said...

This script is going places. Places like... the North Pole. That's where it will be filmed, because Santa makes props and sets really cheaply. He's the best in the business, but they're gonna bust him one day on the whole elf sweatshop thing.

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Ah ah aaaaa.....

Pantha said...

yuck I dont like it already :P

Professor Xavier said...

I'm guessing this is the network television edited script?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Unfortunately, no.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

It sound a little like "Banana Pulp Friction", but since Banana don't really have pulp and most thing involving a banana and Friction cant be mention on a PG site, I'll just go puke from reading that scene.