Thursday, June 22, 2006

A Meeting of the Monkeyboys

J'onn Sinew Nu and Jo Jo the Monkeyboy Sr. were satisfied that they had a hit on their hands. As for myself, I was pretty sure that it was going to be a disaster, but I decided to observe the proceedings with bemused detachment. No point in me missing out on the entertainment, right?

Most of the test viewers for the movie filtered out after Sinew Nu released them. Popo the Monkeyboy hung back, though, and he approached Jo Jo Sr. with a giant goofy grin on his face.

“It’s super swell to meet you, sir!” said Popo. “Howya like dem apples?”

“Well, it’s always super duper to meet a fan!” Jo Jo Sr. replied. “I’m just a bad widdle boy!”

The two creatures howled with delight and hopped up and down.

“Say, Popo,” Jo Jo Sr. poked him. “Would you like to meet the actor who portrayed Jo Jo in the movie?”

“Would I? Would I?”

“Hare lip!” they both yelled together, then howled in laughter some more.

“Well, he’s right here, buddy bud McBuddenstein bundle buck-o bing,” said Jo Jo. “Let me introduce Go Go the Monkeyboy!”

Go Go stepped out from behind the curtains and walked across the stage. “Good evening, gentlemonkeys,” he said with some sort of twisted approximation of an upper-class accent.

“Hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha hah hah hah! Oh Go Go! You are the star of the show show!” cried out Popo.

“Thank you,” sniffed Go Go. “I… am an actor!”

Popo and Jo Jo nearly squealed in delight.

“I love a dub dub it!” Popo grinned. “Howya like dem apples?”

“I’m just a bad widdle boy!” Jo Jo added.

The three Monkeyboys laughed some more. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and yet I couldn’t look away. It was like some sort of horrific accident or disaster that hypnotizes you into staring endlessly.

“I… am an actor!”

“I’m just a bad widdle boy!”

“Howya like dem apples!”

Suddenly the door to the auditorium burst open. In flew Hojo the Monkeyboy.

“Awk!” he screeched. “Time for this bird to fly!”

The other Monkeyboys squealed like some sort of pack of over-excited teenagers at a Rutles concert. They all danced around each other and hopped up and down.

“I’m just a bad widdle boy!”

“I… am an actor!”

“Howya like dem apples!”

“Awk! Time for this bird to fly!”

The maniacally-laughing creatures collapsed on the ground. Rolling back and forth and laughing, Jo Jo Sr. turned to Hojo and asked “So where have you been, chummy chum chum comrade?”

“Well, I was ‘kicking for Hawk,” said Hojo. “But then I accidentally got sucked out of the window of his ship. I’ve been ‘kicking around with some other guys, though, like Hawk, Hawk, General Hawk, Hawkeye, Stringfellow Hawke, Hawkeye, The Blackhawks, Streethawk, Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards, The SilverHawks, Hudson Hawk, Tony Hawk, Thunder Hawk, Hawkman, Hawkmen, and The Eagles. None of them really worked out, so I’m pretty much in between gigs right now.”

“Well don’t you worry, my fine fuzzy, furry, feathered, freckled, French-toast eating friend,” said Jo Jo. “You’re in the ISP; I’ll make sure you get a job.”

“Woo hoo!” Said Hojo. “That’s the swellest news I’ve heard all day! Come to think of it, that’s the only news I’ve heard all day. Hoo hoo hoo hah ha hah hah!”

“Hey, I’m a sidekick on a ship for the Queen’s Fleet!” exclaimed Popo. “Maybe I could get you a job on one! Except, I’m on leave right now and I’m not sure where my ship went! Hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha!”

“Hello father,” came a voice from the doorway. A shadowed figure stepped through it and was bathed in light.

“Mojo!” cried Jo Jo Sr. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to see you, father,” said the younger Monkeyboy.

“Son,” Jo Jo looked at Mojo sternly. “When are you going to get your act together? Every time the Intergalactic Sidekickery Phorce tries to get you a job, you turn it down. Your ‘kicking career has been a disappointment to me and your family.”

“I know dad,” said Mojo glumly.

“Why are you here, anyway, young man?” Jo Jo demanded.

“I just wanna…”

“You just wanna what?”

“I… I….” the young Mojo looked around like he wanted to say something important.

“Well?” Jo Jo Sr. looked like he was beginning to lose his patience.

“I just wanted to say…” Mojo managed to blurt out, but then his voice trailed off once again.

“What?” Jo Jo glared at his son.

The two Monkeyboys looked at each other. The other Monkeyboys looked at them. The room was silent. Mojo opened his mouth, the Monkeyboys leaned forward.

“You my bestest friend fow ever and ever and ever!”


Jaina Solo said...



A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I have been puking for the last half hour after reading the first part of this post, the last post was so sickly sweet that I am now slipping into a diabetic coma.

The time has come for all good, noble and free beings of the many different and diverse galaxies to come together and KILL ALL THE MONKEYBOYS!!!!

Son Goku said...

Don't kill the monkey boys they kind of Funny

Vegeta said...

Kakarot You think rocks are funny I'm up for killing the monkeyboys

flu said...

It's just like John Astin as the Riddler -- it just isn't right.

Karnov said...

dot dot dot

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A true meeting of minds

Professor Xavier said...

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Anonymous said...

Okay... this isnt good first Vampires now monkeyboys

the earth is doomed I tell ya