Thursday, December 01, 2005

The mystery deepens

After thinking about a number of different Counts 4 a very long time, the 1 thing I wanted to do was 2 get 2 the bottom of this mystery. I am not much of a meditator, and I certainly am not a just-sit-around-and-wait kind of guy, but I was missing several pieces of this puzzle. I had no choice but to wait for this Count's next move.

Fortunately, I didn't have long to wait. Fast as quicksilver, I was attacked. I knew the attack would come, but I didn't know when. Despite this, I was on my toes, but the fierce attack had me reeling.

I defended my assailant's karate kicks and flying chops, but my own blows seemed to have no affect. My enemy was fast and relentless, And his breath smelled like death itself.

Fortunately, I had my Sonic Stunner strapped to my arm. I charged it up and took aim. The sonic blast now had him reeling. Nothing alive with ears or the need for equilibrium could withstand the ultrafrequency attack.

He howled and clasped his ears, that's when I got a good look at my attacker. It was none other than a vampire!

"Just in time for Halloween," I muttered to myself.

I grabbed the endead bloodsucker by his lapels.

"Who sent you?" I demanded.

"The Count!" he howled.

"Who is the Count!" I demanded.

"I dare not speak his name!" he howled back.

"Who sent you?" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"The Count!" the vampire howled back once again.

The vampire summoned his strength and tore himself loose. He charged me again, his claw-like fingers aimed at me like ten deadly lances. His sharp teeth glistened in the moonlight. He drew nearer and his rush grew faster. He howled and was nearly upon me, ready to tear into my flesh. The howl reached a crescendo and he lunged.

I stepped to the side, stuck out my foot and he stumbled to the ground.

Quickly, I broke a branch from a nearby tree and stabbed him through the heart.

"Oh Darla!" the Vampire hissed. He then let out a death sigh and vaporized into dust.

So, my enemy is a vampire. I'll be ready for him.


Professor Xavier said...

A vampire, huh? Those blood-suckers can be nasty. I was beginning to think maybe "The Count" was just a rouse and it was just someone pranking you, maybe your old childhood nemisis. But after that visit from Alfalfa, it looks like you got yourself an undead problem. Nasty.

flu said...

He used 2 do a lot of work with Count Buckwheat.

in time for... Halloween?

I got a Sonic Stunner and some cheesy tots for 2.99 the other day... mmmmmmm... Sonic

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Gosh Fluke, I never once made mention that it took you months to defeat a potato and yet you take it upon yourself to take a shot at my use of a non-lethal weapon. For shame. Especially coming from a man whose primary weapon (a lightsabre) seems to be designed solely for cutting people in half. I, on the other hand, am a kinder, gentler action hero, thousand points of light, I feel your pain, and all that jazz.

flu said...

Gee... I only intended to infer that I felt that my foot-long cheese coney was absolutely stunning. I was not intending to 'take a shot' at your weapon.

I truly feel we are on the same side... even though my expressions of our side are normally much dumber than yours...

My comments are only meant to encourage, entertain and enlighten - not antagonize or offend. I guess I'm more about 'e' words, than 'a' and 'o' words... in that sense.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

A foot long cheese coney does sound good right now.

flu said...

and, they're only 2.99 with a side of tots!

at least... they are in this portion of the universe where I reside...

flu said...

...not to mention they're stunning.