Nasty Intergalactic Gladiatorses

By now, most of you playing along at home can probably guess what's going to happen.

This mysterious Count throws some lame-o vampire at me. I defeat the vampire and demand information about the Count, the vampire refuses, I turn the creature into dust.

It happened with this vampire:



With this vampire:


And with these vampires:


You could probably guess just how annoying these attacks were getting. They were interrupting my relax-on-the-couch-with-some-potato-chips time, they were getting in the way of my drink-a-beer-on-my-day-off time and they were even keeping me from my snuggle-with-my-wife time. Unfortunately, as annoying as these attacks were, I just couldn't get any information from my alleged attackers. Fortunately, they couldn't attack my in my own home as I just won't invite them in. I don't know who made that rule, but I like it. I suppose I could be worried that they might get the bank who is holding my mortgage to invite them in, but that seems rather unlikely.

Enough is enough though, and my most recent attack came from this vampire:


"Wait," I said to the thirsty bloodsucker. "You're not a vampire."

"Sure I am," it answered. "Look at my fangs."

"No, I saw you in that movie. You're Gollum, you hung with Frodo and Samwise."

"No he's not a vampire," it responded. "He doesn't like nasty Hobbitses. My precious!"

"Aw geez, and you even refer to yourself in the third person," I rolled my eyes. "Give us a break, would you?"

"Precious! Precious!"

I stabbed the creature through the heart, he crumbled to dust, end of creature.

I've got to find this Count.