Monday, December 05, 2005

Nasty Intergalactic Gladiatorses

By now, most of you playing along at home can probably guess what's going to happen.

This mysterious Count throws some lame-o vampire at me. I defeat the vampire and demand information about the Count, the vampire refuses, I turn the creature into dust.

It happened with this vampire:



With this vampire:


And with these vampires:


You could probably guess just how annoying these attacks were getting. They were interrupting my relax-on-the-couch-with-some-potato-chips time, they were getting in the way of my drink-a-beer-on-my-day-off time and they were even keeping me from my snuggle-with-my-wife time. Unfortunately, as annoying as these attacks were, I just couldn't get any information from my alleged attackers. Fortunately, they couldn't attack my in my own home as I just won't invite them in. I don't know who made that rule, but I like it. I suppose I could be worried that they might get the bank who is holding my mortgage to invite them in, but that seems rather unlikely.

Enough is enough though, and my most recent attack came from this vampire:


"Wait," I said to the thirsty bloodsucker. "You're not a vampire."

"Sure I am," it answered. "Look at my fangs."

"No, I saw you in that movie. You're Gollum, you hung with Frodo and Samwise."

"No he's not a vampire," it responded. "He doesn't like nasty Hobbitses. My precious!"

"Aw geez, and you even refer to yourself in the third person," I rolled my eyes. "Give us a break, would you?"

"Precious! Precious!"

I stabbed the creature through the heart, he crumbled to dust, end of creature.

I've got to find this Count.

9 comments:

flu said...

Sounds like you had a busy weekend. I wonder who many vampires this Count is gonna send your way before he realizes he's only annoying you and not actually destroying you.

Oh well, makes for good reading, and gives you some practice to keep you on your toes, I guess.

But hey, don't let them interfere with the snuggle-with-the-wife time - that could bring dire consequences... wait - could that be how he's trying to destroy you?

Vegeta said...

Maybe Vampires will finally be exctinct or at least lame ones.

Jude said...

Funny stuff! The Complimenting Commenter sent me, and I'm glad he did! Good job!

Noel of Neptonian said...

WHAT.... those monsters, they interrupted your snuggle-with-your-wife time.... how awful.

golfwidow said...

Make Every Moment "Count". Meet your friends at the top of the Vampire State Building.

(Came in via the Complimenting Commenter and I'm glad I did.)

Professor Xavier said...

I think it's prenounced -
"De-moan-ey, De-moan-ey"

And I still say you should have kissed the Queen of the Galaxy. I wouldn't be surprised if she was secretly feeling spurned and decided to send the Count after you in vengence. You know how women are.

flu said...

Hmmm... a weekday goes by with no post...

I wonder if he's been destroyed?

*gasp*

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

No no, I'm OK. I've just been busy slaying vampires is all.

Lori said...

So now he's sending you creatures as well as vampires....Sounds like he's testing you!!!

Have a great day!!!