Summer of Compliments

After a short deliberation, I have decided to follow along with the Complimenting Commenter's Summer of Compliments.

The goal is to compliment 100 people over the summer and that means I'll be giving out sincere commendations to my Jr. Intergalactic Gladiators for the next few months. I'll also be giving them out to some of my real-life friends and associates along the way.

Of course you may join in if you like, but you certainly don't have to if you don't want. I just feel that I want to add something positive to this world. I think that we could use it.

So to keep track of my compliments, I will be updating this entry frequently; I may even link it on my sidebar. Below are the people who have received complements from me:

1. Complimenting Commenter (I figure since it's his idea, he gets one first)
2. My wife Patricia
3. My daughter Kiera
4. My dog Shamrock (I can compliment my dog, right?)
5. Fluke Starbucker
6. Master Yoda
7. Captain Picard
8. General Grievous
9. Movie critic Peter Sobczynski
10. Professor Xavier
11. JawaJuice
12. Local henchman
13. Lt. Commander Oneida
14. Simon
15. Carmi
16. Padme
17. Novi
18. Michele Agnew
19. Army of Clone
20. Local Henchman
21. Captain Typho
22. Qui-Gon Jinn
23. Wedge Antillies
24. Sun Times columnist Zay Smith
25. Erifia Apoc
26. Yo También Te Mando Besos
27. Anthony at Carmax
28. Chris Ryall from Comics101.
29. Scott Tipton from Comics101.
30. Scott Bowden from Comics101.
31. Joshua Jabcuga from Comics101.
32. Mark Engblom from Comics101.
33. My sister Laurie.
34. Jango Fett
35. Gaia
36. Dan Savage
37. The clerk from Petsmart.
38. Gyrobo
39. Karnov
40. Captain Koma
41. The Martian Manhunter
42. Phoenix
43. Useless Advice from Useless Men
44. Flying Booger
45. Question of the Day
46. Vegeta
47. Jaina Solo
48. Gregg Easterbrook
49. Dave's Longbox
50. My mom.
51. E) None of The Above
52. Barriss Offee
53. My friend Jim
54. Lori's World
55. Senor Cheeseburger
56. Dark Jedi Kriss
57. Deadpool
58. My friend Dennis
59. Lady, that's my skull
60. j00{z
61. My friend Dave
62. My friend Lance.
63. JabaFatboy
64. Aayla Secura
65. Aayla Secura
66. Chancelor Palpatine
67. Anakin Skywalker
68. NandeHi
69. Blockade Boy
70. Fred the Fox
71. Military Jake
72. Noel
73. Dance of the Puppets
74. Cardbored knight
75. Spider-Man
76. My sister Nancy
77. Larry Mayer
78. Richard Roeper
79. Robert Feder
80. Epsilon 775
81. Iceman
82. Beast
83. Dr. Doom
84. The Incredible Hulk
85. Emma Frost
86. Tech Tips
87. Jerry Markbreit
88. The Absorbascon
89. Jonathon Brandmeier
90. I Watch Stuff
91. The Superficial
92. The O'Ciardha Clan
93. Jinx Miakoda
94. Mike Mulligan
95. My brother-in-law Paul
96. Phobia
97. David Haugh
98. Roger Ebert
99. Kristi Roth
100. My dad

OK, here's a little something extra. There is a new Spider-Man movie coming out and I found a great teaser trailer for it online. I hope you enjoy it. Click here.


Also, here is a film of one of my Intergalactic Gladiator fight sequences. Yeah, I do take on a lot of guys and I guess I go over the top a little, but you know, I was saving the damsel in distress or something. Click here.

You send in the Marines

The Colonial Marines, that is.

Professor Xavier was somewhere on the island when his phone rang. I had no idea where he was, so I decided to answer the phone to take a message.

"Hello?" I said.

"Uh, Professor?" came the voice on the other end.

"No, this is Private Hudson," I answered. "The Professor doesn't seem to be around right now, could I take a message?"

"Uh, yeah, er... No," came the voice. "No, uh just tell him that Cyclops called."

"Hey Cyclops," I said. "How's it goin'?"

"Oh man," he said. "We're fighting for our lives at Magneto's base. There's a legion of Terminator robots, and some other guy's got a bunch of his robots, too. It's a big fight and we're way outnumbered. I was just callin' the Professor to, uh, see if he could, er, send some reinforcements."

"Oh man," I said. "If you're not careful, it'll be game over for you!"

"Oh man," he said. "I didn't even think about that! Oh man! Well, I gotta go."

"Oh man," I said. "Say, you need my help?"

"Sure," he said. "Like I said, we're right here at Magneto's base on Earth."

"Cool, I haven't been to Earth in a long time," I said. "I'm on my way. Hey, I gotta question. How much does a call from Earth to Hacknor cost?"

"Man, I don't know," Cyclops answered. "You think the Professor's gonna freak when he gets the bill?"

I had to save them. All of them. That green Mars guy, the two hairy dudes, and that one gal from the Thundercats all needed my help. Quickly I boarded the UD-4L Cheyenne and Corporal Ferro flew me up to the Sulaco. We warped to Earth and then she and I prepared to drop. As you may recall, this is the part that I hate.

"Hang on, we’re going for a ride," Ferro smirked. "Stand by to initiate release sequencer. On my mark. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Mark."

"Oh man," I clenched my teeth. She always says that. I hate it when she says that.

We dropped out of the belly of the Sulaco and started crashing towards the Earth. We shuttered and rumbled with the reentry.

"Wooooooooah!" I yelped. Hitting the atmosphere in these things is never, ever pleasant.

"We’re in the pipe, five by five," Ferro beamed. Yeah, she always says that, too.

We closed in on Magneto's secret lair and Ferro dropped the landing struts. We settled in and she dropped the ramp.

"It's gonna be nasty out there," Ferro said.

"Yeah, I know it," I answered.

"I hear those Terminators are really tough to kill," she said. "What are you going to do?"

"I got a secret plan for them," I said and I flipped the selector on my M41A Pulse Rifle to "auto."

I ran down the ramp screaming and firing my weapon. "Aaaaaaagh!! Come on! Come get some! You want some of this! Take this! Aaaahhhhhhh!"

Rounds tore out of my rifle. I launched grenade after grenade from the launcher slung underneath. I shouted some more.

"Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! Let's go, yeah, come on! Come on! Come and get it you bastards! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? screw you!"

My weapon chattered away. My ears rung from the noise and my nose was filled with the pungent smell of burning gunpowder.

"Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Game over for you, man! Let's go, yeah, come on! Come on! Come and get it you bastards! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? Come and get some!"

I fired until my weapon was empty and I was out of grenades. I reached for a fresh magazine of M309 10 X 24 mm caseless rounds when I stopped to look around.

There was debris everywhere. Smoke wafted up from the ground here and there and just about everywhere I could see dead robots littering the ground. I looked around some more but I didn't see Cyclops or anyone from his team.

"Hey! Where'd everybody go?"

The Movie's Bombing? Really?

I stepped into J’onn Sinew Nu’s office and walked up to his desk. Sinew Nu was sitting at it and he had a defeated expression on his face. On his desk sat a half empty bottle of booze. Sinew Nu looked up from cradling his head and took another shot.

“It’s… bad… out there,” he sniffed. “It’s a fiasco. Unbelievable.”

I shook my head.

“It is pretty bad.”

“It’s a bomb. Every critic in the known galaxy has raked this thing over the coals,” he added. “There was only one good review. Only one.”

“Well, maybe the audience will read only that review,” I said.

“Monkeyboys don’t read reviews,” Sinew Nu sighed. “I’m going to lose a ton here.”

He then pulled some sort of pill bottle out of his desk and wrenched open the lid. He tapped two painkillers into his hand and popped them into his mouth. He washed them down with another shot from his bottle.

“Maybe you’ll get a lot of repeat viewers on Monkekbok,” I suggested.

“Monkeyboys don’t have that kind of cash,” Sinew Nu sobbed. “They’re sidekicks after all.”

“Well,” I endeavored for something positive to say. “Maybe you can make it up in DVD sales.”

Sinew Nu looked at me for a long time with a blank expression.

Then a small smile crept across his lips.

“That’s it!” His smile grew broader. “All I have to do is push Sinewco monies around a little bit to make it look like the movie did OK. Then I’ll release it quickly onto DVD so all of the monkeyboys and girls get one.”

“……OK,” I looked at him.

“I’ll put the first few releases of the movie on inferior quality disks so they degrade after a few viewings!” he announced. “Then they’ll have to buy another! Then in a year or so, I’ll put out the director’s cut version, followed by the eXtreme version, ultimate version. Then finally, I put out the, uh, uh…”

He snapped his fingers trying to think of what the version would be called.

“The ‘Howya doin’ buauttthhhh?’ version?” I suggested.

“Brilliant!” he slammed his palms down on his desk. J’onn Sinew Nu wasn’t defeated just yet. “Here sign this waiver releasing all ownership of that name.”

I put my Jon Hancock on the dotted line.

“Well it’s been a real pleasure,” I said heading for the door. “If you’re thinking of doing a sequel, don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

“Oh Jon, there is one more thing,” Sinew Nu said.

“Yes?”

“On the contract, you’re a consultant,” he informed me. “Your pay is in scale with the amount of money the movie generates. And since the movie isn’t generating money, you’re pay is going to reflect that.”

Sinew Nu pushed the intercom button on his desk. “Bernice, can you cut a check for Jon here?”

“Yes sir,” Bernice’s voice crackled back.

Ah well. I didn’t do this for the money. At least it’ll be enough to buy myself a pack of gum or something.

Hudson goes to the movies

The Lieutenant called me into his office this morning, which seemed unusual because he normally doesn’t call me into his office.

I snapped to attention two paces in front of his desk and delivered a frosty salute.

“Private Hudson reporting, sir!” I yelled sharply. The LT winced a little bit.

“Hudson,” he said. “I have a special mission for you.”

A mission? Cool.

“What’s the op, sir?” I asked. This is gonna be juicy, I just know it.

The Lieutenant reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a small metal box. He then pulled a key ring from his utilities pocket and selected one of its residents. He wedged the key into its slot in the strongbox. The lid popped open and the LT reached in.

Is it a map? Is it secret orders? Is it a communiqué from the Joint Chiefs? No, it looked like…

“I want you to go to this monkeyboy movie,” the officer said. “Go this afternoon. Here, take these tickets.”

“But sir,” I said. “I’m vital to this unit; I shouldn’t be running off to see a movie.”

The LT looked around suspiciously. Are we being monitored? “See, that’s the mission,” he said.

“To see a movie?”

“That’s right. Get going, it starts at 12:15.”

I looked down at the two tickets, why would the LT be sending me to a movie? How could this be vital to our mission?

“How is this vital to our mission, sir?” I furrowed my brow. “My job is pretty important here as assistant squad leader—”

“Assistant to the squad leader,” the lieutenant corrected. “See Private Hudson, what I’m trying to do is create a newsletter for our battalion stationed here on Hacknor. On top of having important news that the troops need, I want to include outside interests that would, uh, interest them. Like movie reviews and stuff.”

Me? A movie critic? I’ve never thought about being one before, I’ve always been a Colonial Marine and that’s all I want to be. But if the Lieutenant needs a critic, then I’m his man.

“I’ll do it,” I said. Let’s see, I have two tickets here. I guess I could take Cyclops. I kind of like him. He and I are a lot alike, except he lacks the military discipline that I possess. Wait a minute. One ticket’s for 12:15, the other is for 2:30.

“Uh, sir,” I said. “These tickets are for different times.”

“I want you to go twice,” he answered. “You know, so you can write a better review.”

“OK. That makes sense.”

So I got to the movie and sat down just as it started. Jo Jo’s theme played. Hey, that’s kind of catchy. Then Jo Jo popped up on screen and said “Howya doin’ buaauuuuuthhh?”

There were a handful of monkeyboys in the audience (I guess the rest were busy at work doing their sidekick stuff) and they all screeched happily when they heard that. Then they started yelling out catchphrases, too.

“I’m cuckoo for Banana Puffs!”

“You bet your sweet bippy!”

“That frosty mug sensation!”

“That’s rad!”

“And that’s the truth!”

“Did you get the memo?”

“Haaa! I kill me!”

“Aaah one and aaah twoo--!”

“This pudding is deeeeee-licious!”

“Whaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuupp?”

“Know whut I mean?”

“This looks like a job for Bananaman!”

The movie remained silent and the monkeyboys in the crowd quieted down. The silence was a little bit overwhelming. I felt that I had to contribute to something.

“Game over, man,” I said. “Game over.”

All of the monkeyboys looked at me.

“Shhhhh,” they all shushed me in unison.

At The Movies

Ebert: Hello, welcome back to At The Movies, I'm Roger Ebert and with me as always is Richard Roeper.

Roeper: Jo Jo the Portrait of a Monkeyboy Sidekick is, well... it's a movie, I guess, about a comedy relief sidekick monkeyboy who meets his untimely demise when his face is disintegrated in an Intergalactic Gladiator arena. After the character’s introduction and about fifteen minutes of absolutely nothing, the movie follows his humble beginnings and his training as a sidekick. He then becomes the sidekick to a hero from Earth until his untimely death. Jo Jo the Monkeyboy, just doesn’t work, though. If I’m supposed to relate to this character, I don’t. I can’t root for him, he just doesn’t work and neither does the movie.

Ebert: I have to disagree, Richard. Jo Jo worked for me and it worked on several levels.

Roeper: Really?

Ebert: Sure, haven’t you ever wondered what it’s like for the sidekick? Movies are always about heroes, but this lets us see things from the other guy’s point of view. I really felt for him when his face got disintegrated.

Roeper: You’re kidding, right? This was bad, it had wooden acting, poor direction, and it ripped off a couple dozen other, better movies.

Ebert: I like to think they were homages.

Roeper: What?

Ebert: Homages. The writer did a great job here nodding his cap to all of the movies before.

Roeper: Did you see who wrote the movie?

Ebert: Of course, Jo Jo the Monkeyboy Sr. Obviously, he wrote this in memory of his son. Having his son die tragically like that must have been terrible for Jo Jo Sr.

Roeper: You know, that’s another thing. This character is pretty inconsistent. He’s surviving car crashes and getting launched out of cannons. He even gets up and walks away from being inside a starship’s reactor core. But then his face gets disintegrated. How come he didn’t survive that?

Ebert: Well, do you think you could survive that?

Roeper: I’m not a monkeyboy.

Ebert: Exactly.

Roper: Exactly what? That doesn’t make any sense.

Ebert: I think that’s supposed to be the point. This character is a classic fish out of water bouncing around on screen. He’s crazy, but just crazy enough to be likeable.

Roeper: That’s another thing. What the heck is a monkeyboy anyway? He looks like neither a monkey nor a boy.

Ebert: He’s from planet Monkekbok.

Roeper: OK, OK. It doesn’t matter. I say that it’s a terrible story with unbelievable characters, Uwe Boll and Michael Bay on their worst days couldn’t come up with something as bad as this. Thumbs down from me.

Ebert: I say thumbs up, it was a little bit different, it was sad, it had a lot of stuff you don’t see in movies these days.

Roeper: So you’re giving it thumbs up.

Ebert: Seriously.

Ebert: Yep.

Roeper: Of all the movies that someone can see this week, you recommend this one above all others?

Ebert: ………………………………….No no, I can’t! This was a horrible movie! This was a horrible, terrible, awful movie! I hated, hated, hated this monstrosity of mediocrity. Thumbs down from me, two thumbs down. In fact, I wish that I were a monkeyboy so I could give it 4 or 5 thumbs downs.

Roeper: So there you have it, it was a bad movie.

Ebert: Very bad.

Jo Jo: Portrait of a Monkeyboy Sidekick, the premiere

I'm at the movie premiere at the Hacknorian Cineplex on Fire Island M (you know the one, right off of Highway 21); standing beside J’onn Sinew Nu in the back so we can watch the crowd reaction.

Most of the audience members are monkeyboys, as you could expect, and when the lights dimmed they started hooting and hollering.

Of course, before the movie starts, we’re treated to some previews and an advertisement for Hacknor Cola, which is a soft drink that I highly recommend if you like the taste of caramelized sulfuric acid.

After that, the credits started rolling and Jo Jo the Monkeyboy’s theme starts playing along with it – all 63 verses. All of the (alleged) comedy relief sidekicks in the audience who could sing, sang along. Many couldn’t sing and sang along anyway. I started to see popcorn containers and frozen bananas arcing through the air.

The opening credits and the theme song end and the image of Jo Jo fades in.

“Howya doin’ buaauuuuuthhh?” he asks.

The audience roars its approval.

“Heeeeey, buddy!” yells a Monkeyboy from his seat.

“Ahoy ahoy, good Capitan!” yells another.

“I'll bite that for a dollar!” calls out still another.

“Awk! Time for this bird to fly!”

“Oh no not again!”

“Vhy dese kids dese days!”

“Miggle mffffp! Thpppppt! Cheese!”

“You my bestest friend fow ever and ever and ever!”

“Works for me!”

With each catchphrase shouted out, the other monkeyboys in the audience grow wilder and wilder.

“Zoiks!”

“Incontheivable!”

“By George, one of these days I gotta straighten out that closet!”

“Give zees people ze bananas!”

“Anaheim, Azusa and Cuuuu-ca-mon-gaaa!”

“hi bob!”

“Don’t get saucy with me, Bernaise!”

“I gotta thank Thelma Lou for that nice piece of pie!”

“The devil made me do it!”

“Snap your neck like dried up chicken bone!”

“Saints preserve us!”

“Shazam!”

“Hi ho Bongo the Monkeyboy here!”

“There I was, there I was, there I was… In the Congo!”

“All your banana are belong to us!”

“Oh, a wiseguy, eh?”

“Bada bing!”

“As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”

“Could this banana be any more delicious?”

For some reason, it seems like the movie purposefully left 15 minutes of blank space right there so the monkeyboys can all get in their own catchphrases. Accordingly, the audience of monkeyboys crescendos into a loud roar. I can see non-sidekick audience members glaring back and forth at each other.

The monkeyboys are having a lot of fun, but everyone else seems awfully disgusted.

The movie continues and I look over at Sinew Nu, he is smiling at the whole proceedings, no doubt dreaming of ways to spend all of the money he is going to earn with this venture. I swear, if it were possible, there would be dollar signs popping up in front of his eyes right now.

I see two tourists finally get up in a huff. They storm past me and the woman looks at me crossly.

“We’re here on vacation and we just wanted to see a movie,” she yelled at me. “This is horrible!”

“I hope you go to Hel!” the man growls as they stomp off.

“Did you hear that?” I asked Sinew Nu.

“What? No, I was watching the movie,” he answered. “Oh this is going to be the blockbuster event of the summer!”

A Meeting of the Monkeyboys

J'onn Sinew Nu and Jo Jo the Monkeyboy Sr. were satisfied that they had a hit on their hands. As for myself, I was pretty sure that it was going to be a disaster, but I decided to observe the proceedings with bemused detachment. No point in me missing out on the entertainment, right?

Most of the test viewers for the movie filtered out after Sinew Nu released them. Popo the Monkeyboy hung back, though, and he approached Jo Jo Sr. with a giant goofy grin on his face.

“It’s super swell to meet you, sir!” said Popo. “Howya like dem apples?”

“Well, it’s always super duper to meet a fan!” Jo Jo Sr. replied. “I’m just a bad widdle boy!”

The two creatures howled with delight and hopped up and down.

“Say, Popo,” Jo Jo Sr. poked him. “Would you like to meet the actor who portrayed Jo Jo in the movie?”

“Would I? Would I?”

“Hare lip!” they both yelled together, then howled in laughter some more.

“Well, he’s right here, buddy bud McBuddenstein bundle buck-o bing,” said Jo Jo. “Let me introduce Go Go the Monkeyboy!”

Go Go stepped out from behind the curtains and walked across the stage. “Good evening, gentlemonkeys,” he said with some sort of twisted approximation of an upper-class accent.

“Hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha hah hah hah! Oh Go Go! You are the star of the show show!” cried out Popo.

“Thank you,” sniffed Go Go. “I… am an actor!”

Popo and Jo Jo nearly squealed in delight.

“I love a dub dub it!” Popo grinned. “Howya like dem apples?”

“I’m just a bad widdle boy!” Jo Jo added.

The three Monkeyboys laughed some more. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and yet I couldn’t look away. It was like some sort of horrific accident or disaster that hypnotizes you into staring endlessly.

“I… am an actor!”

“I’m just a bad widdle boy!”

“Howya like dem apples!”

Suddenly the door to the auditorium burst open. In flew Hojo the Monkeyboy.

“Awk!” he screeched. “Time for this bird to fly!”

The other Monkeyboys squealed like some sort of pack of over-excited teenagers at a Rutles concert. They all danced around each other and hopped up and down.

“I’m just a bad widdle boy!”

“I… am an actor!”

“Howya like dem apples!”

“Awk! Time for this bird to fly!”

The maniacally-laughing creatures collapsed on the ground. Rolling back and forth and laughing, Jo Jo Sr. turned to Hojo and asked “So where have you been, chummy chum chum comrade?”

“Well, I was ‘kicking for Hawk,” said Hojo. “But then I accidentally got sucked out of the window of his ship. I’ve been ‘kicking around with some other guys, though, like Hawk, Hawk, General Hawk, Hawkeye, Stringfellow Hawke, Hawkeye, The Blackhawks, Streethawk, Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards, The SilverHawks, Hudson Hawk, Tony Hawk, Thunder Hawk, Hawkman, Hawkmen, and The Eagles. None of them really worked out, so I’m pretty much in between gigs right now.”

“Well don’t you worry, my fine fuzzy, furry, feathered, freckled, French-toast eating friend,” said Jo Jo. “You’re in the ISP; I’ll make sure you get a job.”

“Woo hoo!” Said Hojo. “That’s the swellest news I’ve heard all day! Come to think of it, that’s the only news I’ve heard all day. Hoo hoo hoo hah ha hah hah!”

“Hey, I’m a sidekick on a ship for the Queen’s Fleet!” exclaimed Popo. “Maybe I could get you a job on one! Except, I’m on leave right now and I’m not sure where my ship went! Hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha!”

“Hello father,” came a voice from the doorway. A shadowed figure stepped through it and was bathed in light.

“Mojo!” cried Jo Jo Sr. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to see you, father,” said the younger Monkeyboy.

“Son,” Jo Jo looked at Mojo sternly. “When are you going to get your act together? Every time the Intergalactic Sidekickery Phorce tries to get you a job, you turn it down. Your ‘kicking career has been a disappointment to me and your family.”

“I know dad,” said Mojo glumly.

“Why are you here, anyway, young man?” Jo Jo demanded.

“I just wanna…”

“You just wanna what?”

“I… I….” the young Mojo looked around like he wanted to say something important.

“Well?” Jo Jo Sr. looked like he was beginning to lose his patience.

“I just wanted to say…” Mojo managed to blurt out, but then his voice trailed off once again.

“What?” Jo Jo glared at his son.

The two Monkeyboys looked at each other. The other Monkeyboys looked at them. The room was silent. Mojo opened his mouth, the Monkeyboys leaned forward.

“You my bestest friend fow ever and ever and ever!”

Jo Jo the Movie Focus Group

We showed a screening of the Jo Jo movie to a select and diverse group of volunteers. Sinew Nu, Jo Jo Sr. and I watched their reactions to the movie. After the showing, the three of us spoke with the group to get their reactions.



"OK people," said Sinew Nu. "What do you think of the basic story that you just saw?"

"A great story about a Monkeyboy. Howya like dem apples?" said Popo the Monkeyboy.

"I liked it," said HelmeTess, Acolyte to the goddess of Helmets.

"That movie was really swell! I like when they flew to the moon!" said Astromite.
"The Gaijun Monkeyboy was very heroic. Him saving that city from a giant monster was very exciting," said Captain Shogun.

"It sucked," said Goth Girl.

"Hmmm, OK," said Sinew Nu. "What scene really grabbed you?"
"The first time he said his catchphrase, that really cracked me up. Howya like dem apples?" said Popo.
"Like I said, when he defended Japan from the sludge monster. Also, that chase scene. Very exciting," said Captain Shogun.
"When Jo Jo slipped on that banana peel, that was so funny! I also liked when Jo Jo was on that bike with Elliot and they flew in front of the moon," said Astromite.
"Seeing cameos of well-known characters was quite interesting," said Gyrobo.
"Like cookies," said Cookie Monster.
"When Jo Jo sacrificed himself at the end, that was really sad. I almost cried a little," said Elixer.
"It sucked," said Goth Girl.

"Interesting," Sinew Nu looked down at his notes. "OK, what part of it didn't work for you? If you could change one part, what would it be?"
"More cookies!" said Cookie Monster.
"I loved every single pin-it minute innit. Howya like dem apples?" said Popo.
"I might have included a task from the Goddess of Helmets. He could then earn a reward from her -- a helmet!" said HelmeTess.
"That movie was swell! I wouldn't change a thing!" said Astromite.
"Did he like bananas? That song where he sang about all the banana-related products seemed a little subtle," said Captain Shogun.
"If I were you, I'd take all the film and burn it. That movie was la-ame. It sucked," said Goth Girl.
"Excellent," smiled Sinew Nu. "Gentlemen, I think we have ourselves a hit."

"Yippee yo yahoo-ieee ieee iee!" exclaimed Jo Jo Sr.

"What about what that Goth Girl was saying?" I asked. "Don't you think she made a valid point?"

"What, about it 'sucking?'" he chuckled. "What does she know? She's just a grumpy teenager. She's probably a mutant or something, they always have issues."
"Hey!" said Elixer.

Jo Jo's Early Work

Interestingly enough, as people have begun to work on the Jo Jo the Monkeyboy movie, someone found something that he did early in his career. It was a safety film. Here take a look at it:

Safety Film Presentations Presents

A Safety Film Presentation

Germs and You, The Deadly Killer!


This is Timmy.

Timmy and his best friend Jo Jo love playing wholesome outdoor activities.



Like kicking balls...



Sliding down poles...



And bumping each other in the rears...

After such a fun day of playing outside with his best bud Jo Jo, Little Timmy runs home.

"Gee, mom, I sure am hungry. can I have a snack?"


"Not so fast, young man," says Timmy's mom.

"What's the matter?" asks Little Timmy.

"You haven't washed your hands yet, that's what." answers his mom.

"Aww mom, washing hands is for suckers!" complains Timmy.

"You may think so, but it's still important to do it," replies his mom. "There are germs all over your hands!"


"Germs? What are those?"


"I'll show you, Jimmy!" Answers his mom excitedly. "We can use my new X-Ray Microscope to look at your hands."


Timmy and his mom take a look at his hands.

"Gosh, mom," says Timmy. "What are those little guys?"

"Those are germs, young man," says his mom. "And those germs are just waiting for the opportunity to hurt you. Just like commies."

"Gee whiz mom, I don't want these germs all over my hands. What do I do?"

"Well Tommy, you need to wash your hands using plenty of warm soap and water, that's what you need to do."


"Then I'll do just that, and right away!" Timmy yells excitedly.

So Timmy goes to the bathroom and washes his hands using plenty of soap and water.


"Die germs! Die!" yells Timmy excitedly.

Ha ha ha, that Timmy.

After Timmy is finished thoroughly washing his hands with warm soap and water, he returns to the kitchen for a snack.

"Gee mom, I'm glad you told me about germs and I washed my hands using warm soap and water real good! Can I have a cookie now?"

"You sure can!" answers his mom.


Little Timmy is very excited about his snack.

"Wow mom! That's the greatest cookie ever! Can I wash it down with a sarsaparilla?"

"Now Timmy, you don't want to spoil you appetite for dinner, now do you? You can have a nice glass of milk instead."

"Aw mom..."

The End...