Saturday, October 29, 2005

Jon The Intergalactic Gladiator, This is Your Life! Part 2

Art: Welcome back to the show, I'm Art Linklighter and with me today is Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. Jon, are you ready for your next guest?

Jon: Sure am. Who's up next?

Voice: This one a long time have I watched. All his life he looked away... to the future, to the horizon, to those dirty magazines under his bed. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. An Intergalactic Gladiator craves not these things.

Jon: I'd recognize that voice anywhere. That's Master Yoda.

[Yoda slowly hobbles out on onto stage with his cane, then drops it and pulls out his lightsaber. He ignites the weapon and goes through several quick moves. Each move is faster than the last, culminating into a spinning ball four feet in the air. The audience applauds with approval.]

Yoda: Thank you, thank you. Mr. Linklighter, for many years have I wanted to come on your show and perform. Now complete the circle is.

Art: Well, that was great. The audience surely enjoyed it, didn't you?

[Audience cheers]

[Applauding]Jon: Master Yoda, that was really something.

Yoda: Several times has the Intergalactic Gladiator and I crossed paths. The first time, he disturbed my vacation at my home on Dagobah.

Jon: You know, I seem to recall some sort of "Force" damaging my ship and drawing me to that planet. You then thought that I was someone else.

Yoda: interrupt your elders do not. Second dealing with Jon this was, sing a very lame song for me he did. Very annoying it was.

Jon: Well, I copied and pasted the only song about you that I knew. You seemed happy about it at the time.

Yoda: harrumph, capricious the Force makes me. When 800 years old you reach, see how much that song you like. Shortly thereafter, visit the Jedi Temple he did. Sing at the Temple Lounge he did, sing that song again he did. Very annoying this was.

Jon: You didn't like the show?

Yoda: No, afraid not I am. A rip off of your act at the Ten Forward that was, and a bad rip off of Bill Murray's lounge lizard act that was.

Jon: I see your point, Master Yoda. But don't you think you're being a little grouchy about it?

Yoda: Little? Little? A joke about my stature that is? Judge me by size, do you?

Jon: No no, I just thought you were being a bit of a grouch is all. I'm not trying to be a pig, you don't have to get all gonzo on me. The next time that I perform at the Jedi Temple, I assure you that I will not sing the Yoda song.

Yoda: Thank you for that I do.

Art: Yoda, ladies and gentlemen.


Art: Jon, are you ready for your next guest?

Jon: You bet. Who's it gonna be?

Voice: Howya doin' bwauth?

Jon: .....!
[Audience gasps]

To be continued on Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator's 100th Post Spectacular...


Master Yoda said...

Promised free food for this I was. Only bagels in the green room there are. Eat bagels I can not. "Stop me up" they do.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Even the raisin ones?

flu said...

Bwauth? Bwauith?!


Karen said...

Wow, what an imagination!

Michele sent me....

mar said...

is this nr. 99 then? Michele sent me!

doug said...

Hello Jon, here from Micheles!

Cheryl said...

Me too - Michele sent me!

turboslut said...

Can't wait for the next installment :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think it's gonna be JoJo!

Obi-Wan Kenobi said...

The kid with the sideburns!

netchick said...

Hello from Michele's!

100 posts! Woohoo! ;)

Oreo said...

Are you sick or were you implying that you're allergic to me?!?!?! I sure do wish Bob would pick SOMEBODY already!!

Kross-Eyed Kitty said...

Congrats on 99! Here via Michele's!

Professor Xavier said...

So Yoda went all "gonzo", eh? Some how I find it easier picturing him going all "Kermit".

Anita said...

Michele sent me . . .I hope I can figure out my way back . . .I feel "lost in space" with a grouchy Yoda . . .

Vegeta said...

Hmm He's always that grouchy? I The one time I met him I thought he was mad that I attacked Jar Jar Binks.